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AE 511 – Expression: Not Have a Bar of ItI’m Barry, living in American River, Kangaroo Island. I trap feral cats and give them another home. I keep a record of every cat that I catch and the total’s 1438. I’m not that fussed if people have their cats. I just have the thing for the feral cat. People think I’m a cat hater, but I’m not. We just hate the feral ones. (The) domestic cat just sits and meows and says “Meow, feed me!”, but it’s the feral ones. The cats that I’ve removed will probably have killed millions of birds. Birdlife around the river has dramatically improved.
****G’day, guys! Far out! Far out! It is a boiling day today. It is sweltering. It is steaming. It is incredibly hot. So, yesterday, it was like 34 degrees, I think, today’s 36, and I know some of you are from places around the world where that is nothing.You know, I understand that, but for me in Australia, especially, in the very, very south part of Australia, the mainland, in Victoria, 36 is getting pretty hot. Although, yeah, we’ve had some days in the past that got up to 48. I remember it being 51 degrees inside my car at one point in the past and that was just ridiculous. Anyway. It’s been hot, and I guess, I’ve been suffering from it more because I’ve been moving house. So, as you guys may or may not know, Kel and I recently moved into our new house, in fact, we moved in two days ago, but didn’t stay there the night, because we had all our stuff at my parents’ place still, the bed stuff and everything, so we stayed here, and they had air conditioning. So, that was one thing. But then last night or yesterday, we went down there and stayed the night there and I’ve been running around like a headless chook, running around like crazy, buying second-hand furniture and all sorts of things off Gumtree and Market Place on Facebook. You may have seen the video I did on that on YouTube. So, lots of collecting stuff, filling the car up, going to the new house, unloading the car, and doing that in the heat has been a massive chore. Anyway. I won’t rabbit on too much about that, but that’s what I’ve been up to. Today, the movie scene at the very start there, guys, was a clip from a Vice documentary called ‘Shooting Cats’. Now, Vice is a really good organisation.They do lots of these interesting sort of docos and news articles, news items online that you can find if you just search, Vice, V-I-C-E. This documentary was about the problem of cats in Australia and the hunters who tried to reduce the numbers of these feral cats. So, it’s a contentious issue. You know, the house moggy, your average house cat, vs. the feral cat, the native animal assassin inAustralia. So, watch that doco ‘Shooting Cats’. It’s about 20 or 30 minutes long. It’s a great chance to learn about Australian culture and to introduce yourselves to a few of Australia’s more colorful characters. Strong accent warning too. And there’ll be a link to that in the transcript. Anyway. That aside, guys, this is the Aussie English Podcast, the number one podcast for anyone learning Australian English or anyone learning English in general and trying to get from intermediate to advanced and beyond in their English abilities. So, it’s brought to you by The Aussie English Classroom. That is my online website with the courses that I put together for these episodes and a lot of other content to help you improve pronunciation, expand your vocab, and learn these expressions, as well as meet a lot of other people who are also learningEnglish. That you can sign up for at TheAussieEnglishClassroom.com and is just one point for your first month so get in there and give it a go. If that’s not your thing and you’re just after the transcripts for these episodes and theMP3s and you want to download them so you can listen and read anywhere, anytime, go to TheAussieEnglishPodcast.com, and click sign up, and for the price of one coffee per month you will get access to all of the transcripts, all of the MP3s for all of these episodes.Anyway. That aside, let’s get into the Aussie joke for today, guys. So, considering we had the doco at the start they’re ‘Shooting Cats’. I thought, you know what, I will find a cat joke. Okay, so here’s the joke: Why don’t cats like online shopping? Why don’t cats like online shopping online?Why don’t they like shopping online? They prefer a ‘cat-alogue’. They prefer a ‘cat-alogue’. Do you get it? Cat-alogue, right? So. you can shop online via websites, but you can also shop using catalogues, right, those sort of like magazine-style things, but for just selling products. So, that’s the joke. So, today’s expression, guys. Today’s expression is ‘to not want a bar of something’ or ‘to not want a bar of it’ or ‘to not have a bar of something’ or ‘to not have a bar of it’, right. You’ll hear this in many different ways.Sometimes it will be with the verb ‘have’ sometimes with ‘want’, sometimes it’ll be ‘of something’. Sometimes you’ll just say ‘of it’ and this expression was suggested by Shiny in the Aussie English Classroom. Good job, Shiny. So, every week we suggest the expressions we want to vote on and the winning expression becomes the one for the week. Anyway. Let’s get into it and define the different words in this expression. So, obviously, ‘to have’, if you have something or you don’t have something that is that you possess the thing or you do not possess the thing, right. Like, I have a t-shirt on at the moment. I have two parents. I have a car. You know, I possess those things. ‘To want’. I am sure you will all know what ‘want’ is, guys, to desire something, to feel like something. You know, at the moment, I want it to be less hot. At the moment, I want a cold drink. ‘Want’. And the last word there, guys, ‘a bar’. Now, I don’t exactly know why this has been used in this expression and what exactly it is referring to, but I would imagine that somehow it is referring to a long rigid piece of wood metal or similar material. So, for instance, if you go to jail, the… I guess, the metal sort of fence that is in front of your cell is made up of bars, right, bars of metal, bars of metal. So, it’s usually something that’s like long and thin, right. So, you could have a chocolate bar, right, a chocolate bar. So, if you don’t want a bar of something, I guess, in this case, it just means… ‘the bar’ means that you don’t want a part of that thing, right. I’m not 100% sure.Anyway. Let’s go through the expression definition. So, ‘to not want a bar of something’. If you don’t want a bar of something, that is that you want nothing to do with that thing or it could even be someone. So, you want… you’re not interested at all in having anything related, to do, with that thing, right. So, I don’t want to be involved. I don’t want to… I just want nothing to do with it.Okay, I don’t want a bar of it. I want nothing to do with it. And if you don’t have a bar of something, or if you’re not going to have a bar of something, you won’t have a bar or something, you wouldn’t have a bar of something, that can mean something slightly different meaning be unable to tolerate something, to dislike something, to not accept something, or to not allow something to happen. Okay. So, let’s go through three examples of how I would use this expression or these expressions, right, to not want a bar of something and to not have a bar of something. Alright. So, example number one. Imagine you’re a teenager, you’re at school, and the next class that you have to go to is PE, and ‘PE’ stands for Physical Education, right, so sports. So, maybe you’re a bit of a fat kid, you know, you’re a little bit chubby, you’re overweight, and you can’t run very well, you’ve always been a bit bad at sports, you know, you’re not very athletic, you’re not much of a jock, and you get out of breath really quickly. So, you really dislike exercise overall and you think it’s pointless and an unpleasant endeavor. In order to try and get out of PE class, you tell your teacher that you’ve got a trumpet lesson, and unfortunately, it clashes with the PE class, meaning it is on at the same time as the PE class. It clashes with it. So, you have to go and you have to do this trumpet lesson and you have to give the class amiss. However, the teacher knows how much you hate PE class and also that you’re not currently learning the trumpet, so that’s a bit of a lie, it’s a fib, you’ve made up that story, okay. So, although, you don’t want to have a bar of a class, because you hate it and want to get out of it, the teacher isn’t going to have a bar of your excuses and he won’t let you skip class. So, you don’t want a bar of PE class, you want to skip it, but the teacher isn’t going to have a bar of it, of your excuses, and makes you stay and do a class instead. So, you dislike PE class and you want to avoid it, you do not want a bar of it, but the teacher won’t allow you to do that, so he’s not having a bar of it. He’s not going to put up with you trying to skip class. Example number two. Imagine you are a gymnast or maybe an athlete, you know, someone who likes to do parkour in the street where people run around the streets and treat stairs and other structures as a sort of obstacle courses to jump through and under and over, all of that sort of stuff. So, you were out training one day with your mates, but you had a fall and busted your leg, right, you hurt your leg on the concrete when you landed. It’s nothing too serious or severe, but after seeing the doctor you are told that you need to rest up, you need to take it easy, you need to recover, you need to recuperate, and give your leg a few weeks to heal before you go back to training. Despite the advice the doctor’s given you, you’re incredibly impatient and you can’t be bothered waiting. So, you want to go out and train a few days after the accident, but your leg is so sore that you can’t do it. Your leg isn’t going to have a bar of it. Your legs not going to allow you to do it, right. It doesn’t want anything to do with training. So, you might complain and say, Ah, my damn leg! I want to train, but it’s not having a bar of it, or it doesn’t want to have a bar of it.Your leg isn’t going to allow you to train, it won’t tolerate training, it won’t have a bar of it. You’ll just have to rest up for a week or so. So, example number three. So, let’s use some informal Aussie slang. Okay. Imagine you’re a bloke, so an Australian male, and you’re married to a ripper of a sheila, right. And ‘a ripper of something’ means ‘an awesome thing’, and ‘a sheila is ‘a woman’. So, ‘a ripper of a sheila’, ‘a great woman’. You’re a bloke married to a ripper of a sheila, and you guys have a bun in the oven, she’s up the duff, she’s expecting, she’s pregnant, right. They’re all different expressions for pregnant. And your first little nipper, your first little child, is going to be born in a few months. So, when your little bub is born, ‘bub’ as in ‘baby’, you think it’s still all good for you to nick off down the pub, so ‘go down to the pub’, every other night or so, go to barbies with your mates, sink a few tinnies a few stubbies, so these are cans and glass bottles of beer, tinnies and stubbies, and leave your wife at home who’s a recent first time mum all home alone with the bub to deal with it all herself.If she snaps though and she won’t tolerate you doing this, she won’t put up with you leaving her all alone at home having fun with your mates, she’s not going to have a bar of it, right. She doesn’t want a bar of it. She’s not going to have a bar of it. So, she won’t allow you to just leave her at home all alone with the baby, with the bub, and let you go off and have fun with your mates. Maybe she’s upset too, because she thinks you don’t want a bar of her.So, maybe she thinks you want nothing to do with her. You’re annoyed with her, right. You don’t want a bar of her. You’re not interested in her or the baby.You want nothing to do with them, you dislike them, you don’t want a bar of them. So, being a ripper of a new dad, though, you decide you’ll take it easy, you’ll stay at home, you won’t party anymore, you’ll spend some quality time with your ripper of a sheila, with your wife, your missus, and your bub for the near future and you’ll do your duty. Good man. Good man. Alright, guys. So, hopefully now, you understand the expression ‘to not want a bar of something ‘or ‘to not want a bar of it’ meaning to want nothing to do with it, with something, with someone. And the expression ‘to not have a bar of something’ or someone or ‘to not have a bar of it’, and this means to be unable to tolerate something, to dislike something, to not accept something, to not allow something to happen. So, as usual, let’s go through a little listen and repeat exercise, guys, where you guys can practice your English pronunciation, okay. So, concentrate on the wayI’m linking these words, the intonation I’m using, the pronunciation, and remember, if you want to get the video breakdown of this exercise and all the other exercises in all the other courses, make sure that you sign up at theAussieEnglishClassroom.com.It’s just one dollar for your first month. The link will be in the transcript, but check it out if you want to work on your spoken English. Anyway, let’s go. To To have To have a To have a bar To have a bar of To have a bar of it x 5 I’m not going to have a bar of it. You’re not going to have a bar of it. She’s not going to have a bar of it. He’s not going to have a bar of it. We’re not going to have a bar of it. They’re not going to have a bar of it. It’s not going to have a bar of it. Good job. There is a lot of connected speech going on there, right. ‘I’m not going_to have_a bar_of_it’. There is a lot of connected speech. Remember, to check out the video guys in theAussie English Classroom to learn all of those tricks and tips. Anyway. Let’s go through the Aussie English fact for the day guys and then we will finish up and I will let you continue on your merry way, with your day, you know, I’ll let you keep doing whatever it is that you’re doing. So, as we had that little documentary at the start that I was showing you that was’Shooting Cats’ talking about feral cats in Australia, I thought that we could talk a bit about feral cats in Australia and why there’s such a problem. Okay. So, how did cats get to Australia? Cats first arrived obviously with the first Europeans. So, on the first ships that came to Australia, from when the First Fleet arrived and onwards there were definitely domestic cats in Australia, and it’s even possible that the earlierDutch ship wrecks around Australia released domestic cats onto the continent. So, why were they on ships in the first place, though? Cats were on ships, as they had been used elsewhere for millennia, for pest control, right. They had been there in order to keep rats, mice, and even cockroaches at bay, to try and control those pest species, to control their numbers. So, once the First Fleet arrived in Australia, these cats were brought ashore and allowed to sort of roam freely in the hopes of controlling pests around the early colony. So, these free-roaming domestic cats, obviously, escaped or just simply wandered off into the bush, but they were also intentionally released around farmland and homesteads in order to control rats and mice and rabbits as well. And rabbits are another problem pest in Australia that had also been released at about the same time as a source of food that people could hunt. So, historical records date the introduction of cats to Australia to around 1804, and that the first cats became feral around Sydney by about 1820. And by the early 1900s, concern was expressed at the pervasiveness of the cat problem. So, they were already a cat problem by the early 1900s. Okay. So, cats became feral and they lived in the bush in Australia, but why is that a problem? You know, why are cats… why are cute, cuddly nice little cats a problem in Australia? So, terrestrially speaking, that means in terms of talking about the land as opposed to the ocean, cats as a group, a group of mammals, are some of the most successful predators to currently be inhabiting any parts of the world, so, the world’s environments and habitats, cats are an amazing predator. They are killing machines. In whichever environment you find them, they are stealthy assassins, stealthy killing machines, and despite being relatively newcomers toAustralia, they are as successful here as anywhere else in the world, potentially even more so, because so many of the animals in Australia are naive to cats, they do not understand that cats pose a threat, right, because they haven’t evolved with cats in the local environment. So, cats also have very few predators, namely dingoes and wedge-tailed eagles, Australia’s largest eagle, and dingoes are native dog that we have here in Australia. So, where these native Aussies don’t live, the dingoes and the wedge-tailed eagles, cats reign supreme as the local apex predator, meaning the predator at the top of the food chain. They don’t have to fear anyone eating them and they can pretty much eat anything else. Feral cats also have a vicious and voracious appetite. They will eat pretty much anything that lands on their plate, anything that walks in front of them, right, anything that they come across. Thus, they are very bad news for any ground-nesting birds, any lizards, small mammals, frogs, insects that also live on the ground, and they have likely underpinned, that is they have caused, the population collapse and extinction of many Australian native animals, which is quite tragic. So, they are currently thought to threaten the existence of at least 35 birds, 36 mammals, 7 reptiles, and 3 amphibians. Really, really tragic. So, today there are estimated to be about 3.3 million pet cats in Australia, that is domestic cats, living in houses, and they’re found in about 29% of Aussie homes. In comparison, so keep that number in mind, 3.3 million pets, there is between 18 and 23 million feral cats living, prowling, stealthily moving about all corners of the Australian continent except tropical rainforest. So, there’s almost one cat… there’s potentially one cat per person roaming around free in Australia killing native animals. So, what does this mean? Well, greater than 18 million cats need to eat a lot of food and that means 7 million native animals a day, to be precise, which equates to a staggering 27 billion animals per year that these cats eat in Australia. So, obviously, it is a heavy toll on the Australian environment, well, and the animals. Besides the obvious threat to native wildlife that this ferocious apex predator poses, they also pose a significant threat to your average household moggy, your average household cat, as they can transmit diseases, they can fight and injure your cats as well. So, they’re a big, big, big problem. This is why manyAussies, including your average Joe to your hunters as well as your conservationists and environmentalists have declared war on the feral cat and want to see them eradicated from the wild. So, though, you may compare them to your average domestic cat, they are completely different, they are a completely different beast. They are vicious wild animals that pose a threat to the existence of numerous native species. If you own a cat in Australia, this is why it’s so important to keep them inside at all times so as to keep them away from other feral cats or people’s pet cats next door and also to prevent them running away, getting injured, and killing native animals too, most importantly. Anyway, guys. I hope you enjoy this episode. I hope you sort of have a bit more of a deeper understanding of Australian culture and to understand why cats are an amazing pet, but it’s so important to keep them inside. Keep them locked up. Don’t just let them roam around freely. Okay. Anyway. I hope you have an amazing weekend, guys, and I will chat to you soon. All the best. Peace out. See you later.
G’day, guys. Welcome to this episode of Aussie English. Today, I have a special episode for you where I sit down with my wife Kel and we talk about the first trimester of her pregnancy, what we thought it was going to be like compared to what it actually has been like up to now.
Anyway, before we get into that, I want to let you know that today’s episode is brought to you by the Native English course. Now, you may remember when I interviewed Justin on the podcast a few months ago, he has released a native English course and it is about learning real spoke in English.
So, this is aimed more at intermediate students who are aiming to push from intermediate to advanced. So, if you are interested in learning the tricks and tips for speaking English more like a native speaker, things like culturally-focussed speaking, tips on spoken contractions and pronunciation, and different kinds of subject matter for small talk, all that kind of stuff, this is an amazing course. It’s very affordable and you will save 15 percent with the coupon ‘AUSSIE‘ if you go to lingova.com. That is LINGOVA.com.
Anyway, let’s get into today’s video, guys.
Trying to use this little selfie stick again, I remembered how good it was. Anyway, we’re about to go out and get some muffins and coffee and Kel had an idea, Kel had a pretty nifty little idea. What are you doing, Kelly? Why are you hiding? Come here ‘cause I don’t want to show you guys the room, it’s a bit dirty.
So, tell us about your idea, you wanted to do the pregnancy diary.
You wanted to do a little pregnancy diary where you can talk about it, you know, and this might not be helpful for many men out there listening,
but hopefully it gives you some good vocab and as well some a learning experience for those of you who are thinking about getting pregnant in the future
Yeah, and I think people want to see our little bump.
Little bump? What’s this Kel? Show us the bump. Is it a little?
It’s huge. Look at that. Yeah, I reckon mine’s bigger. Look at that much bigger. My baby’s way further along than yours.
You’re so competitive
Alright, so we’re going to go to Barwon Heads and get some muffins. Don’t look at the room. Don’t look at the room.
As always, we’re in front of the house walking to the car. But this time Kelly’s here. We’re not go to the gym, not today. So, where are we going Kel, Kel?
To the coffee shop. Coffee shop, coffee shop. There is an amazing place in Barwon Heads, called Starfish, right? And It is…hold on, just let me get in the car. Get in Kel!
Yes, so It’s called Starfish, it’s really good, mum found it and it has amazing muffins and even better croissants with pumpkin. Oh my god this is so good!
I love it, I just can’t handle it.
Can’t handle it today, huh? A bit pregnant, preggers, up the duff. A little bit ‘nojenta’ (nauseous).
What does this mean?
Pregnant but in a very sort of…Like cows get “prenha”.
Okay. Okay. Alright.
We’re off to Barwon Heads. We’re off to Barwon Heads. So, how you feeling today? You’ve been a bit nauseous recently. Tell us about your experience being pregnant. How’s it been? Has it been fun?
No, it’s not fun. I mean…It is nice when you realize that you have a baby in you and you think about it and you buy things, but daily sort of… the struggle is real.
The struggle is real. Like I wake up feeling sick every day. It goes on for the rest of the day, pretty much. If I’m hungry, I feel even worse, but then because I’m so nauseous, I don’t feel like eating anything and
even my favourite things like cheese or pasta like I just don’t feel like having any food
That’s the weird thing, I think because you love those foods and you were eating them like an animal before you got pregnant, but now, you just like…do you think like is it what’s putting you off them? Is it the idea of what they taste like, the smell of them? The textures, is there some specific aspect or you just don’t feel like eating that food now?
I know some women get really sick like with smells and textures, I’ve been reading about it, but for me personally, it’s just I don’t feel hungry. I feel…well, I know I have to eat and I kind of get like okay. I really like cheese or whatever, but then when I’m there looking at it it’s just like, I don’t want it. It’s just like the pizza we got the other day I had like two pieces and I was just like…
What did you order? You ordered a pizza and it was like half peri-peri Mexican or some spicy thing and then half…What was the other half?
Was chorizo or something.
Chorizo like a margarita with a bit of sausage on it or something and you ate that but then you were like this other one looks gross and I’m not eating it.
And I love chicken, that’s my favourite thing.
It would have never happened in the past.
Not at all, I would have started with this one because I like it so much
I don’t know, that’s the most weird thing that’s happening. The rest is just fine. Like I know I’m not putting putting on a lot of weight yet so, it’s fine. Not vomiting a lot. I feel really sick, but I don’t vomit.
You only vomited once. Yeah exactly. What happened then when you vomited the first time?
I think we were in the car, right? Normally without being pregnant I get
Motion sickness. Yeah, you don’t do very well in cars at least when you’re not…when you weren’t pregnant, it would be like if we were driving around, really bad corners, like if you go down the Great Ocean Road, it tends to be pretty horrible.
Yeah, So, if you’re going down the Great Ocean Road it tends to be… that’s when I would get motion sick if we were going down fast and you’re constantly like…
But for me it’s so bad, I can’t even use my phone in the car.
We were coming back from your grandparents’ place in Melbourne, yeah, which is about a two hour drive I just couldn’t handle it anymore and I just puked.
We were so close!
We were one turn, one turn away from our house and dad was driving and Kel’s like give me the bag!
And we’re like literally a minute away from getting home and you puked in the car. Yeah in front of my dad.
And then he was turning the fan on.
Aircon up. Aircon up. It’s all good, it’s not easy. I can’t imagine, you know, the hormone changes and feeling nauseous all the time. That would, that would get to me. I think that was frustrating.
Yeah at the end of the day you’re just so tired of feeling so sick. Yeah, and I don’t know if all the women experienced the same but I have every day when it’s kind of like getting dark around like six seven I get quite
unsettled like I’m just uncomfortable. I don’t know if it has something to do with the hormones or if it’s just because I’m tired of feeling so sick.
But I just get really like I can’t do anything like I don’t if…in bed, I’m uncomfortable, if I get up to do something else, I’m uncomfortable.
Yeah, you’d be finding it really hard to get to sleep, right? Recently and it’s not the stereotype is that it’s morning sickness which is what I assumed before you got pregnant like oh, yeah, you’ll be, you know, sick in the morning and then the rest of the day you’ll be fine, but it’s more like all-day sickness.
All day sickness and I find it really hard to sleep.
And which week did this begin at?
Probably…Yeah, this was six weeks, I mean I’m 8 now, but six weeks that’s when it hit me.
yeah, and fortunately though it’s only meant to last for five to six weeks.
Usually yes, usually yes, that’s what everyone’s telling me.
Most women have been saying don’t worry after twelve weeks you’ll feel fine again and you’ll feel like superwoman!
Right now, it’s really hard for me to imagine I’ll feel so great, like…
but then we watched the…I don’t know if it’s a documentary, but more or less a documentary on birth, childbirth yesterday and the girl that was on there, the Indian one, was like I felt nauseous every day for eight months. So, I can’t imagine that feeling of being sick for eight months and then you know, it must feel pretty good once you’ve finished
Must be very good after you finish. Yeah, and you’re like oh, I don’t feel nauseous anymore.
But everyone is telling us that you know after those first weeks. Something, you know, happens and you just have great, even your mom saying that you feel like you can do anything.
So, I’m really looking forward to feeling like that because right now is just really bad. So, how do you think it’s changed your life? Your day-to-day routine at the moment if you weren’t pregnant?
What would you be doing that you currently can’t do?
I would probably be having a lot of soft cheese
No, but honestly. It’s hard because I know there is something happening, happening inside me, but you don’t feel much different like physically speaking. Yeah, you know, you feel sick and you feel you know, moody or something happens and you just remember oh, yeah, I’m pregnant, but you look at yourself in the mirror and you just like I’m the same and you don’t realize how much you’re going to change, your personality and stuff. So, it’s not… I’m still digesting the whole thing.
Like hey, I’m pregnant, but I do think…I haven’t eaten for the whole day, for example and I know like I would definitely go to bed without having anything, but I’m like, you know, I have to eat.
I think that’s one of the most difficult things, right? Is that you’re constantly don’t… you’re constantly not feeling like food at the moment but you know that you need to eat because of the baby and to give it nutrition and what it needs.
So, yesterday you you were like barbecuing stuff. I didn’t want to have anything, but I know I don’t usually have meat because well, we’ve been eating meat a lot in the last three weeks but I just don’t feel like having anything, but I was like I have to, I have to have some substantial. That’s probably… that’s the main…
it’s the weirdest thing with Kel having to force her to eat food usually you’re pretty good with food and you’re pretty like…
Apart from that, you just, you know, I keep thinking, buying things like I go out and not see the baby stuff and I want to buy it’s just you get used to, I’m getting used to understanding, I guess. Yeah have a baby that’s going to be born in like seven months.
Has it hit you yet? Do you think? I mean you keep asking me like, do you feel like a dad yet? Or like it’s going to happen is it has it hit you, Pete and to be honest it hasn’t because obviously the only, the only thing that I noticed is that you’re feeling a bit sick, right? That’s the only change for me and it’s an external thing for me. I don’t have this internal change in hormones and feelings and emotion and everything like that that you’re going through, but has it properly hit you yet that you will have this parasite, baby crying and keeping you awake and, you know, eventually leading leading you to be an amazing parent in seven months from now.
Not really, maybe I’m just not conscious about it. Like if I wasn’t pregnant I would be like let’s travel, let’s do, you know, other things but it’s really fine for me to be like I can’t do that, I can’t just, you know, decide I can’t just go away and do other things because very soon I’ll be, I’ll have a baby and I have to take care of him or her, but I think it’s a very subtle change.
You’ll get used to it
And I’m sure when I have a big belly and the baby’s moving I’ll feel more like a parent, but now…At the same time, I’m reading a lot of a lot of things about parenting so I’m trying to get, you know…
Up your skills
Yeah, because that scares me more than the pregnancy I think being a parent and educating someone kind of scares me.
We are almost here I just have to do a U-ey and park behind this car.
How’s it going? Can I grab a large cappuccino? Takeaway and what about you, Kel?
A small hot chocolate and I might grab… What do you reckon? One of these muffins, Kel? I might grab the dark choc berry one for me, please man.
So good. Is it good? These muffins rule. Look at that chocolate! Tasty? And the cappuccino looking forward to this.
All right now we’re off to the beach we’ll see if we can find somewhere nice to sit down and continue this chat. Yeah, I’m all coffeed out. Oh, too much coffee today, I think.
Oh, like ten. I’m probably… I had to have one decaf as well. So, there you go, three or two and a half, two and a half. Anyway, we’re in Bowen heads and we’re goinig to head down to this…There’s a little pier. Hopefully, there’s no one on it. Guess we’ll see.
So, how’s it been? What did you expect before getting pregnant, Kel? What were the expectations before you got done? Before you got up the duff?
I don’t know, I didn’t really have any sort of expectations. I thought, I really thought the whole thing about I’m so sick it was an overreaction little bit, but I can see it’s not. There are things that not many people talk about like because they’re embarrassing and you know, you know just feel like Is it actually happening? Like I feel bloated all the time. Sometimes like today I woke up was like Am I showing I have such a big bump! Am I showing or am I bloated? It wasn’t a baby, it was something else.
You go to the toilet and then you get up and you’re like damn it!
You burp a lot, like I’m always…
And she never burps, I burp all the time I must be incredibly pregnant.
It I hate it. It’s just horrible.
You don’t like burping or you don’t like being pregnant?
You’re a bit gassy.
I am, anyway. You are, anyway, but I’m not used to it.
And you have to pee every like 30 minutes to an hour.
That’s what make me more anxious out of everything.
You have to always think where’s the toilet? Where’s the toilet?
I wake up four, like three or four times at night and it’s quite cold here so wake up, it’s cold.
It’s not really cold. It’s just she thinks it’s cold
It is cold and you have to go to the bathroom and you know that the time I go back to bed I’m already like I need to pee again. So, I thought about getting, don’t know what you call it in English, Brazilians will know ‘penico’. Just leave the ‘penico’…
Some kind of small bucket or receptacle or something that you can pee in and that’s near your bed that they would have used before toilets. People use pans. I think you would call it. They use them in the hospital.
Wee can get one of those for you if you want, you got your bucket.
No, the bucket is for vomit.
We need to get a mattress that we can put a hole in and then just hold it over the toilet and you can just sleep on the mattress right there, right? and the toilets right underneath you.
Like I had to get new bras because the ones I had were quite uncomfortable.
That shocked me how quickly your breasts got bigger straight after getting pregnant I thought oh…
Yeah, It was like, we found out one day the next day. I was like, boom!
I always thought that it was like, you know, towards the end that the breasts get bigger. They get filled with milk or whatever that the baby needs and that happens later on in pregnancy, but obviously the hormones kick in and there’s some sort of you know changes occurring in your breasts. But I was just like yeah, I didn’t expect that. But I like it.
I like it, to be honest, that’s a good part of pregnancy. Forgive me, forgive me.
He was like, can you just press pause?
But I’m only eight weeks so I don’t know how big…
There’s no upper limit
I think those are the most, you know, annoying things mmm, it’s really it’s really nice. I don’t know, if you think about it and you imagine you have to educate this person and try your best and love and I was really scared of not being able to love.
Yeah, what were you nervous about it? What were you scared about it? Cause you had quite a lot of preconceptions before getting pregnant that you were sort of like am I going to be a good mum?
Yeah. Well the good mum thing. It’s always in my mind. Like am… I am I able to do a good job? and there’s no recipe, right? You just, you try your best.
You have to wing it. Yeah suck it and see.
Yeah, but what I am doing is I’m reading as much as I can about parenting and trying to get…Trying to understand what’s the best for with regards to education and stuff but with the love issue because you’re single and that’s the amount of love I’m capable of giving.
I get the limit at the moment. I get everything.
You get everything and it’s an easy because everyone’s like your baby’s born and you…There’s no way you can love someone more than you love your baby and that scares me because how vulnerable is that? Like this little person can literally destroy my life if something happens. I’ll be like that’s my whole heart going away with this little kid, but at the same time it’s amazing to think that you are able to love someone like that and you can do anything.
Well, that’s what I kept saying to you the whole time. You kept saying how am I ever going to love someone as much as I see everyone loving their children? And I said, I think it’s one It’s naturally going to occur and two
I think it’s the kind of thing that’s going to develop as you get through your pregnancy. You have this thing inside you that you’re developing a bond with and then when it’s born it’s just going to…
With your niece, for example. Yeah, I really love her. Like I spent time with her. She’s the cutest baby ever and I feel connected and I’m like
How can I think I will not love my baby?
That’s what I said
I’m like you already like my niece so much to imagine what you’re gonna feel for your own child. So, that was a big thing that you were worried about to begin with I think.
But yeah, it’s much better now, but it was before getting pregnant. I was like scared of you know, not being able to care and to love but you know nature, nature works fine, and you just do it.
Exactly. And so, what about parenting, you’ve been learning a lot about that recently. What are the do’s and don’ts that you think you sort of come across?
That’s hard because there’s no, as I said, there’s no recipe, right?
There’s no right answer.
You don’t… you shouldn’t expect – oh, I will apply those rules and tips and my baby will be the best child, you know, on Earth. Every child is different.
Yes. It’s a difficult thing though because there are definitely answers that are better than other answers, right? and options that are better than other options, but there’s no definitive guide to do this four times a day, you know, and you’ll have a good kid.
And that’s the difficult part for me – I want to do the best I can but I know my own limitations. And I also know that you can only control so much when you have the child. They they’re going to have their own personality that’s sort of irrespective of what you set up or do before that?
Yeah, and I’m really into the whole like peaceful parenting stuff because that’s a very different way like from my experience. I wasn’t raised with…
And I really think it works. Like I really think that’s…that’s the, you know, the best advice you can get
Do you want to talk about what is peaceful parenting exactly?
So, peaceful parents is all about not…understanding, first of all, understanding your child and respecting their personality, like you wouldn’t force your friend or your partner to do something they don’t want to do because it hurts and it feels horrible, so the whole respect towards children, that’s what I like and it’s all about avoiding punishment. It’s not that you’re not going to teach them, you know, boundaries limit and exactly but you do it in a different way because every time they misbehave. It’s a chance for you to teach them something as opposed to it’s a chance for you to punish them.
I think it’s a lot more based around conversations and discussions why they can’t have something, why they can’t do something, why something they did was wrong as opposed to go to your room because I said so or you can’t do this because I don’t want you to, I think from my point of view that wouldn’t work on me now so why would it work on a kid, right?
Like if someone tells you you can’t have this and you’d be like well, I feel like I can so why can’t I and the person just says because I said so you’d be like well, that doesn’t really you know sit well with me you need to tell me more so I think you need to sort of treat kids like that as well. Like they’re more like adults. Explain to them why you’re deciding certain things.
You also need to understand the the child’s brain is not developed. Yeah, so you can’t expect them to be mature and you know, responsive when you know, you lose your temper sometimes and you know, it’s hard I struggle with, you know, understanding my emotions sometimes and I get quite overwhelmed from you know, every now and then but imagine a child. It’s just really hard for them to understand what’s happening. Like they don’t, they don’t know any better. They’re just children.
Yeah, and but I think that’s the important part. They are not going to learn without you.
And you need to accept that you can’t expect more. When… even though you want your child to be the most well-behaved child in the room. You can’t expect them to be more mature then that they actually are for their age, you know? And I really like that because I see, I mean, not being judgemental here, but I see a lot of people and I used to do the same with my sister or my you know, the kids I was working with in Townsville, you can’t you get so frustrated. Sometimes you want them to do something and you forget like, if they are misbehaving, it’s probably because they are they are after something else. Is it attention? Are they hungry? like there’s always something
And with the documentaries we’ve been watching quite often the kids that misbehave the most so the ones who don’t have a connection with their parents and they’re just looking for some kind of you know, I guess response or some kind of attention from their parents and that’s why they act out or they act up
And something that I it really resonates with me is, at least in Brazil, I think and again I’m speaking from my own experience. The whole thing with my family was like, oh don’t do that the child will be spoiled. You’re hugging too much, you’re doing too much attention. It’s just for me that doesn’t make any sense because I can’t imagine how scary the world is. You’re like a little child the only thing you know, that is safe it’s your, it’s your mom and your dad and you don’t give them attention, you let them cry for hours without going there.
There’s limits, right? You have to be not overbearing. You can’t do overbearing mother that protects them from everything. You have to… you have to let them expose themselves to the world and risk being hurt or in danger, but at the same time be there for them
You need to be there all the time and you need to be as, you know, affectionate and caring and there’s no limit for that. That’s one thing that if you get if you want to get something from like peaceful parenting and stuff just be there and give as much love as you can like, there’s no limit, you’re feel free to give as much love as you can because that’s that’s what makes them safe and they connect with you and they trust you and that’s their world like that you are the only thing they have when they’re little at least. It’s been good to learn about it.
That’s where we’re at currently. So, who knows if that’s what it’ll actually be like later on during the pregnancy or when the baby is actually born, but the sun’s getting in my eyes. Maybe we should, we should finish up there, guys. Hope you enjoyed it, but yeah Kel thought this would be a fun idea to sort of sit down and do a pregnancy diary kind of thing where we can chat about what’s happening with Kel and what we’re planning and and things were learning and stuff just to talk about different things in English. So, hopefully you enjoy it all the things in the next video some things yeah, let’s do it. Anyway. Thanks for joining us, guys! Chat soon!
Good job, guys. Well, I hope you enjoyed that episode today. If you guys planning on having a child Down Under, or maybe you’re currently in the process of having a child, or maybe you’ve already had one, I hope that episode was helpful and gave you lots of vocabulary and expressions, things that you can use when talking about these topics. That’s the whole point. That’s why I like sharing this kind of information, even though it’s a bit of my private life and Kel’s private life, I feel like it’s helpful for you guys, so I hope you liked it.
Just remember too, guys, that today’s episode was brought to you by the Native English course. Go to lingova.com that is LINGOVA.com and sign up with the coupon ‘AUSSIE‘ to save 15 percent and get your English from intermediate to advanced if you are an intermediate English learner.
Anyway, thanks for joining me today, guys, and I’ll chat to you soon. Peace out.
What’s going on, guys? Welcome to this episode of Aussie English.
I’m a bit sick today so forgive the voice, but I recorded this video the other day and I decided to put it up on the podcast as well, and it’s a video where I talk about buying second-hand stuff in Australia, so which websites to use, okay?
So, I’m going to put that on the podcast ‘cause I think it’s going to help a lot of you guys. Make sure, though, that you check out video on YouTube if you want to see a screen capture of me using these websites.
Anyway, let’s get into it, guys, and I hope you enjoy it.
What is going on, guys? Welcome to this video! Today I want to talk to you about buying stuff on the line, ok? Specifically, on Gumtree and Facebook Marketplace. Now, there is a lot of good stuff on here, second hand that’s good quality. Quite often you can buy and at a lower price, you can haggle with people, you can barter obviously on here as well, you can trade things even and you can even find things for free so, this is something that I’ve been using quite a lot in the last week trying to find furniture, trying to find cutlery, glasses, all kinds of stuff that I’ll need for the new house that Kel and I are moving into. So, that’s why I thought I would make this video of you, guys, to show you how I do that to hopefully give you some expressions or phrases that you can use too when bartering with people, bartering, when trading with people, trading, when haggling, that’s the word I was looking for, when haggling with people, right? When arguing or talking or discussing the price for something they’re selling. And I tell you what, never start at the price that they’re asking, ok? You’re not going to lose.
Alright, so, the first one he guys is Gumtree. Now, I love this website. I absolutely love this website. It is amazing, I’ve sold things on Gumtree and I have bought a lot of things on Gumtree including equipment for the podcasts and for a lot of other stuff.
So, I think Gumtree is amazing, gumtree.com.au, is the web site. I’m already here. What do you do? So you are obviously looking for something in the case that you’re trying to buy something, try to search for something that you would like to get. So, there is I’m looking for in this search space here. You can alternatively open up the window down the side here and select category, you know, cars and vehicles, you can find cars here, clothing, jewellery, community, electronics and computer Home and Garden jobs. People have jobs on here, miscellaneous goods, pets, Real Estate services for hire, sport and fitness and even tickets so, I’ve been looking a lot in the home and garden, will open that one up, ok. Hopefully it’s going to open up, oh no, I’ve selected it. And then you will type in the thing year after so, you can obviously see here that there are a lot of options that you can select from. Maybe you will go with dining tables, ok?
You’ll also see it on the side here the area that I want to search, obviously, it’s not so helpful if I’m looking for a dining room table and it is in Cairns, 2.500 kilometres North of where I currently am so, it depends on the object you want. Obviously, if it can be sent by mail, you can buy it on here. We’ll talk a bit about how I would do it if from getting it by mail, but for now let’s imagine that we are looking locally, so, near Geelong.
I find the place, all of these and the same, really. Geelong you can do it by postcode so, close that, and then you can select how many kilometres around that area you want to expand the search results so, maybe I want to go 50 kilometres around Geelong, ok? Or round the postcode 3 2 2 0. So, I hit search and let’s see what comes up. Here we go. Alright so, we had like one thousand tables for sale. 1000 ads of tables that are in the Geelong area so, you can obviously just keep scrolling through. They are in no particular order, but you can order them so, you can go up here sort by most recent, best match, cheapest, most expensive, nearest to me, ok? So nearest to me should be closest to the search location that you’ve put in there, so Geelong. Let’s just do cheapest. So, to start with the cheapest and it will go down all the way to the most expensive and usually when you do that. So here it’s got ads that have been sponsored I think. Cheapest. It’ll start with all the free stuff, right? So you’ve got free dining table and chairs, table dining room desk or side table free, six seat dining table free, tables and chairs free. So, all of this stuff is free and you will see there’s there’s a few here for a dollar, a dollar, five dollars, ten dollars, ten dollars, okay?
So, you get the idea of sorting it that way. On the side here you’ll see the location. So, if we go to the top here, where was it? Here, the very first one is in Point Cook, 43 kilometres on the other side of Geelong, Moonee Valley, Geelong city, that’s nearby, Werribee that’s a bit of a drive. Maidstone that’s a bit of a drive so, you’ll see what I mean. They give you a location you can sort of get an idea in your head of where the place is, but when it’s just let’s just click on one, ok? Dining room table. Eight to 12 seats so, you’ll see up the side here the name of the person, how long they’ve been on Gumtree, you can send them a message, you’ll see photos here, you can make them an offer and they’ll also have their phone number here quite often so, you could call them and ask or send them a text and ask about the product and if it’s still up maybe I want to offer them a certain amount of money or less than what they’re selling it for, although this one is free so, I can’t really offer them negative 5 dollars, you know pay me to take it away!
Down the side here you’ll see the location, which you can click on and it’ll show you where that it’s so, that you can obviously know where you have to go, if you gonna pick it up and there’ll be a description down here too. Quite often they’re pretty short. So, in excellent condition, you could have… you could have it as eight seater or 12 so, you could have eight seats or 12 seats and it looks like that is literally it, just this table. Ok? So, Sobar is obviously selling this or well, asking for it to be picked up, it’s free. You can open up send message and there’ll be an automatic message here, which is hi, whoever the person is, I’m interested in whatever the ad is. Is it still available? And if so, when and where can I pick it up? Cheers. You can send a copy of this to yourself and then you can hit send here and the person will get the message and quite often they’re pretty quick if the thing hasn’t been sold or picked up, quite often they’ll e-mail you back relatively fast.
Also, if for example you are trying to buy something as opposed to getting something for free so, imagine I’m looking at this dining room table, which is they want 10 bucks for it. This one has more images so, I can get a better look at it. There it is, but here is the priceand I can type in whatever I want. So, maybe I want to offer them five bucks. You’d then go go and it will send them that offer. Usually they’ll get an e-mail or they will get an e-mail and usually they’ll get back to you relatively quickly with yes/no blah blah blah. You know, whether they’re up for that price or not.
So, I wanted to give you a few phrases for what I would say. In fact, I might do that after we’ve checked out Facebook Marketplace so, let’s do the same here. Alright. Imagine you are looking for tables on Facebook Marketplace. So, all you need to do is go to Facebook, go to the search here and type in Facebook Marketplace or marketplace and then this will come up, this section on Facebook so you can sell stuff on here you can buy stuff on here. You can do a lot of other things, obviously, organizing it by price. You can search locations, you can do within a certain area around that location, just like Gumtree, it’s really good and you can also go through categories so, maybe I’m going home and garden and this should have everything related so what have you got it, tools, furniture, garden, appliances, household, everything related to those things and hopefully, hopefully it loads up. So, you hit that and up will come all of the different things that are being sold under that category.
So, again you can just see the free things if you’re interested in that by clicking only show free listings here and there show you all the stuff that people are getting ready for free. So, you obviously have to go and pick these things up at least what I’ve searched here because it probably won’t fit in the mail. So, if though I want to say such a price range of $140 to 200 bucks and check that, uncheck that, $140 – $200 buck, enter, and there we go. All the things for that price so, again you can click on it there should be all the relevant information there for you. If I click on the ad you’ll be able to, I guess, contact them so you can ask for details here you’ve got the person who’s selling it. And that is about it.
Some really good phrases to use. Some really good phrases to use, though, guys. Ok, so typically I don’t offer people the amount that they’re asking for to begin with as a rule. If they aren’t going to negotiate on the price they will generally say I’m sorry, but it’s this amount. Ok? Usually, though, most people have a starting price that they have begun with, especially with second hand goods, and you can get them down quite a bit quite often depends on the thing. But this is the kind of thing I would say ok, so usually I will go to ask for details and I’ll write a message saying something enthusiastic, something showing that I really like it. I really want that thing that they’re selling, but I mean I’m willing to pay this amount. So, I would say for instance for this table ”I absolutely love the coffee table. Is it still available? And then I’d say phrases like ‘How about $100 bucks?’ So they’re asking $150 here. How about $100? How does $100 dollars sound? So, how about $100 bucks? How does $100 dollars sound? Could you do it for a hundred dollars? Could you do it for $100 dollars? What would you say to one hundred dollars? What would you say to a hundred dollars?
So, those are some pretty good phrases that you can do it to at least get things started. You’re then get a reply usually, they’ll say if it’s been sold or not or they’ll say look I can’t really do it for that price. Maybe they’ll say it’s non-negotiable. It’s $150 bucks. Take it or leave it. They might say take it or leave it as in accept it or decline it. You can have it for that amount or you can just go away or they might offer you something above that amount so, they may say look I can do $130 bucks or they might say How about $130 bucks? Or could you meet me at $130 dollars? As in 150 is here, that’s their starting price, hundred bucks is here and you offered that and they want you to meet them in the middle at a hundred thirty dollars, ok? That’s a common one as well. The last option is that they will just accept it and they will say alright we got a deal and then you’ll have to organize either picking the thing up so, you’ll get an address from them or a phone number from them and usually a time when it’s available for you to go around and get the thing and I guess, generally, I would say pay for it in cash. So, pick the thing up and pay for it either in cash, give the person cash or transfer the money once you’ve looked at the thing and you see that it is what you want. Ok? That’s what I would do with things that I’m picking up, don’t pay for it before you go and see it, make sure it’s something that you want and then pay for it when you put it into your car or maybe give them the money beforehand and then put it in your car and go home. Everyone’s happy, right?
Now, If I’m doing this with things that are getting sent to me in the mail you do have to be careful because you can… the option is that you send all the money to someone you’ve never met and you hope they send you the item, but I’ll tell you about two things that I’ve done recently. Ok, first is that I have done that in the past when I’ve had the person’s Facebook, their name, their phone number and even their address that I’ve just sent them all the money I’ve taken that responsibility on myself given them the benefit of the doubt and hope that they send the goods and the thing that I did that with for example was on Gumtree when I bought my 7D Mark II, the camera that I have, Ok? And that was about eight hundred fifty dollars. So, I actually gave them the lot, I sent them everything, which thinking about it now probably wasn’t the best ideas, but the person was trustworthy and they sent the camera and I got it. They will usually go to the post office. They will take a photo of the thing and they will send that to you as proof that they have sent the item.
I don’t recommend this. It’s just what I’ve done in the past. If I really want to save a lot of money and I can find the thing, but it’s not within driving range. So, that camera for example came from Perth, which is on the other side of Australia and there was no way I could drive there. So, that’s what I would do. The other story here was that I bought headphones recently and I bought something else recently for the podcast as well, but what I did was I gave them half the money to begin with. I then asked for a photo of them in the post office sending the parcel and only after I had seen that did I send them the rest of the money and I also got a name a phone number and often their Facebook or some other kind of address, right? So, again, I don’t recommend that. Obviously, if you can find something close by that you can go and see physically, that’s a lot safer. You won’t have the risk of having money taken from you and not receiving the goods that you want. But that’s kind of the trade off if you find a good deal and it is not within driving distance and you can’t get there, it’s going to cost too much to get there. That’s the sort of way of doing it. That’s sort of way of doing it and being as safe as possible, right? So, you kind of have to decide whether or not you feel like you can do it whether the situation seems good, whether you’re comfortable doing it. But that’s just one option. Ok?
Anyway, those phrases I hope they will help. I really recommend, though, bartering or at least I really recommend haggling, though, because you’ll save quite a bit of money I think for instance the camera I saved I got half price and it was nearly new. So, I almost saved $1.200 dollars instead of buying it new. The headphones I got for probably $100 less than when they were new. And again each time I save probably up to 50 bucks, 50 dollars.
Another thing you can do when haggling is offer them low if you’re going to have the things sent to you and then go back to their price and ask them to include postage. So, imagine they’re sending something or they’re selling something for $150 dollars and you offer them $100 dollars and then they say look I really want $150 bucks. You might say ok, I’m willing to pay a hundred fifty dollars, but can you include postage? Meaning can they pay for the postage, ok? And quite often when you have that kind of discussion they’ll be like alright I’ll do that. You know, I haven’t had too many people tell me just a flat out no. So, I hope that helps, guys, don’t forget those kinds of phrases like ‘can you do it for $50 bucks? How about 50 bucks? What do you say to $50 bucks? or is $50 bucks okay?” Those are some really good phrases that you can use there when starting that haggling negotiation over price and then often you’ll hear things back like ”I’m sorry, I won’t budge. I won’t budge on the price” or I’m sorry only go as low as..” certain amount or I can only do this amount or they may even just say yes, you’ve got a deal. When are you going to come and pick it up? Ok? So, anyway, I hope this video helps guys, make sure that you stay safe. Don’t put yourself in any kind of risk that you’re not comfortable with doing and just, yeah, I hope you get some good deals on Facebook Marketplace and Gumtree. Good luck!
Pete: Alright, so welcome to this episode of Aussie English, guys! This is the first of many episodes, hopefully, to help you guys with IELTS. So, we’re going to hopefully use a lot of different vocabulary, a lot of different expressions and talk about our families in this episode. So, there’s going to be this free video and podcast episode that will go up obviously on the podcast and on YouTube, but then there will also be a breakdown of the different expressions, collocations the more advanced English used in this episode for anyone in the Aussie English classroom. So, remember, guys, you can sign up down below here click on theenglishclassroom.com, go and check it out.
Kel: Before you get into it. So, let’s just get through what the speaking test in on IELTS. So, the speaking test has three parts and the first one they’re going to ask you…. So, you have an examiner in front of you, just talking to you normally as we’re doing now and the first thing they’re going to ask you is to introduce yourself. So, you might have to explain what are you doing in Australia? Where are you from? Things like that, just a small talk and it’s not is no big deal like that’s a normal conversational have with your friends, for example. The second part is about a specific topic like family and family things like we’re going to do today so, they might ask you about I don’t know, a holiday that you really enjoyed with your family, who you love the most in your family, things like that. And the third part is about the same topic but they’re going to ask further questions. For example, if the topic is family, they might ask you to explain how families are structured in your country, for example, or If you’re from a very traditional family or not so just further questions about the same topic and they will be judging your vocabulary, your pronunciation, your fluency and your grammatical range. So just talk as much as you can, show they you have vocabulary, that you know how to use different sentences, different verbs and synonyms and yeah that’s pretty much what I would do…
Pete: So, be as descriptive as possible and go into as much detail as possible and talk for as long as possible. If they say to you who is in your family? Don’t just say me, my dad and my mom.
Kel: And another thing, be relaxed. What happened to me was I was really confident for my test but I didn’t talk as much as I know I could. And you know, at the end I got really nervous because I knew that I would…I can do better, I can do better, but I was just like okay… my mark wasn’t bad, but I know that next maybe next time I’ll do much better because they just want you to talk and communicate as much as you can.
Pete: Exactly. So, do you want to get into it just by before we go through any of this, talking about your family. So, you know, imagine when you’re in one of these ILETS exams and I say Can you introduce yourself and can you tell me about your family?
Kel: Okay so I’m Raquel. I’m from Brazil. Where families are very important I think that’s a similar thing to Australia, right?
Pete: It’s a similar thing everywhere, right?
Kel: I don’t know…but we do have this…. Families are really, really important and most families are quite traditional so, you have the nuclear family, your dad, your, siblings and you also have your extended family very close to you. So, in my case I was living with my grandmother, my aunts and uncles as well as my mum and my sister. My parents got divorced when I was… around six so there was a bit, you know, unusual, different from most families in Brazil. But, yeah, I have a really big family and we don’t we are not in contact with every single person, obviously, but we are a big family. Both sides like, my mum’s family is quite extensive and my Dad’s family is really, really big as well. It’s impossible for me to remember every single person to talk about them because there’s just too many people. And yeah that’s pretty much…
Pete: I’m sure I can relate to that with regards to big families. So, who are you closest to in your family?
Kel: Hmmmm…I’m really close to my sister from my parents. You know, my first… my mum’s first marriage.
Pete: With your father. So, you guys, do you wanna describe that? Like you’ve got two siblings from the same parents…
Kel: And two are the ones from my father’s second marriage., Is it correct?
Pete: Yeah exactly, exactly. And they are half siblings.
Kel: Yeah, half siblings.
Pete: So, you have half sister and half brother.
Kel: Yes. I’m closest to my sister, I would say and also my mum like because we were living together, when my parents got divorced I stayed with my mum so I can say okay we’re kind of close, but to be honest I would just ,you know, mention my sister. She is…. we are very different from each other like she is so much more organized, I’m always talking about her, but yeah my sister is my best friend and my other siblings are really close to me as well. Like my… Gabriella she’s like 19 so, she’s you know starting her life as a young adult, and I kinda feel like Oh my Gosh! So worried so concerned about her.
Pete: Awesome. And what about your grandparents on either side of your family? Did you have a close relationship with your grandparents when growing up?
Kel: It’s funny, because I didn’t meet my father’s dad…. My mum’s dad, I met my father’s dad, my grandpa, but he died a few years a go and and we were not that close anyway, like he was a bit, you know, quiet and he wouldn’t talk much with the kids. So, we didn’t develop any relationship.
Pete: You didn’t have a close relationship.
Kel: Yes, but I didn’t meet my mum’s father, but I’m really, really close to my grandmother. y grandmothers, they’re just very different women, but they are still really, really good people. My mum’s mother is… she raised me, when I think about my upbringing, everything, my values I got from her. She’s a very strict woman, very traditional, quite religious, Catholic. Yeah. So yeah but, you know, that’s her generation and my other grandmother she is quite religious as well, but she’s not as emotional as the other one, like she’s a great reporter who makes sure you eaten, you have everything you need, but she’s not warm and like really affectionate. They’re very different, very different personalities. What about your grandparents, we visited them…
Pete: Well, I can talk about my family, we can switch the roles now where you can be the one asking me questions and I can answer them.
Kel: So yeah, like how does it feel to have your grandparents in their 90s, right? And we visited them the other day and it was mind blowing, just like… they were asking about the internet and things like that, it just got us, both of us, really thinking about how life goes so quickly and I don’t have this sort of relationship with my grandparents. So how is it for you?
Pete: It’s pretty good, I guess before we get into that, though, I can give you a sort of summary of my entire life. So, I grew up with my one sister, I have a full sister. My parents have been married the entire time, obviously, and so I was born in Fern Tree Gully on the other side of Melbourne here, in Victoria in Australia, and grew up there for nine years, first nine years of my life and then we moved down here to where we are now, which is Ocean Grove about two hours away from where I grew up in Fern Tree Gully and so yeah I have my parents, they were both really loving, my dad was pretty… he was probably the stricter of the two. So Mum was always really loving and caring and would let me get away with murder and she would let me do whatever I wanted whereas dad was a lot stricter and… he would let you, you know…he would have you on a tight leash, I think is a good way of explaining it where you could do what you wante, but within limits and within control. And so I think it was a pretty fun and enjoyable upbringing for sure, especially we were talking the other day about living in Ocean Grove and what it was like and how it differed between how your upbringing Brazil and mine here and we used to have free roam of the streets. When I was probably…. maybe 12 years old my parents would let me go out by myself and hang out with my friends in the street and Kel was like How did you know when to come home?
Kel: That’s so different from me. I couldn’t do that. Even…. like being a teenager, I remember I would go to school, come back home and that was it, like there was no okay you’re allowed to go out for a party or something. Not just because it might be dangerous, but like my family was really strict. We didn’t have the freedom he had for example.
Pete: No boys, no drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no. Although I had most of those, but the boys and girls wasn’t as specified as the drugs and cigarettes.
Kel: My grandmother was the kind of person… she is. thank God she is alive… but she would say you should not go to your friend’s house because, you know, their parents might get annoyed at you and you don’t want them to be talking about you or everyone’s going to know what you are, you know, an annoying kid or something, so it was like, ok….
Pete: But you were, right?
Kel: I was, but anyway, that was pretty much like very different like I remember you saying that yeah I would just go back home once the lights were…
Pete: Exactly, so they would let me out, I’d play skateboard, ride my bike around and you know fall off that and play ball games. Kicking the ball around, playing soccer, footy and my parents would just say when the street lights come on just come home. And so you knew that they would have an eye outside and be keeping an eye on the street lights and if they came on and I wasn’t home quick enough then they would come and find me and I’d usually be in trouble. So, that was that was pretty good. My upbringing was pretty good here, my sister and I never had a really close relationship.
Kel: Yeah, I was going to ask you about sibling rivalry…
Kel: So compared to you you and your sister have this incredibly strong connection and I think we’ve spoken about it where I think potentially your parents divorce led you to being incredibly close, which may have happened in my case, had that had happened in my family, but because it didn’t happen my sister and I were always competing for attention, resources, probably praise, you know, I got this on a test, would did he get? blah blah blah. And so we… until more recently, like probably more recent years, maybe the last five years, me and my sister, my sister and I did not have a close relationship and I would have… I would probably say we really disliked each other, you know, in that teen years.
Kel: That’s so funny, because she’s so lovely,..
Pete: She is now.
Kel: She is so lovely. I’m always like what are you talking about? She’s amazing!
Pete: She is lovely now and that’s why we’re close, we’re close now, we see each other.
Kel: It’s funny how things turn up differently. Like, for me having my parents divorce is such a young age… I didn’t have the emotional security from them, you know, when I was little and I had to… I had to have someone so my sister and I we became really close and best friends, we would take care of each other, do everything together. Of course, you had fights, you know, every every now and then, but overall it was just like love we’ve always been friends and it’s…that’s so interesting.
Pete: But back on the grandparents. So, I never knew my dad’s father. He died from lung cancer from smoking before I was born. I knew my grandmother, his mother, but she died from brain cancer when I was 12, from smoking as well. They smoked a lot and that obviously led to these cancers. So that was pretty sad. Growing up I remember that was the first big death in the family was my grandmother passing away and at the time it was really kind of upsetting because I was very close with her, but not close with my mother’s parents very much because they were a lot different. My mother’s parents were very strict kind of upper class, proper people, who said grace before dinner. They were religious too and very rigid, very straight, very organised and I don’t know, proper, proper is probably the best, whereas my grandmother having her husband who had passed away maybe a decade before, she was always like….We would go to her house and she would do everything for us and we’d be all about us. It would be like What do you want to do? Do you want to play games? Do you want to go to the beach? Do you want to do this? Whereas going to my mother’s parents house it would always be like this is what we’re doing, this is what we’re going to be eating, where we’re going and it was more about what they wanted to do fitting us in. But in more recent years, having obviously grown up a bit myself, I’ve gotten to know my grandparents a lot more and we have a close relationship now, my mother’s parents who are both still alive and I think 85 and 87, although they tend to not talk about their age very often.
Kel: It’s funny like we went there and I felt this generation gap, you know, how… you know, just different things are and the world changed around you, you’re just getting older and talking to them just like… what about this person? We don’t know who those people were…
Pete: Their parents, they were talking about my great grandparents.
Kel: So, really, really interesting.
Pete: Exactly, Awesome. And I think what else should we chat about with regards to discussing family? So that’s probably a good start to how the discussion would go. It may not go as long as that.
Kel: No, probably not, but make…keep in mind you have to talk more than examiner. So, if you’re talking, that’s awseomw, if the other person needs to keep pushing you, that’s not a good sign. Something that might be interesting to mention, some people are only child, right?
Kel: Children, see?!
Kel: And they might have a completely different structure from, you know, our families like I have siblings, you have a sister if they ask like talk about your siblings or whatever just say yeah, I’m an only child and that’s, you know, my parents decided not to have another baby so, things like that. It might change depending on your family structure.
Pete: But I think it’s a good thing to think about too is just when they obviously you to start talking about your family, pick one person to begin with them and then just go through the people, you know. So, obviously you’ll be starting with yourself, and you’ll introduce yourself, you can talk about your history, where you’re from and then you can just go ok my father blah, my mother blah, my siblings, my brother, my sister, my half sister, my half brother, you know, you can talk about those relationships and then go on to grandparents. I guess preparing you could list all the people you could potentially talk about and I’m sure the examiners won’t give you enough time to go through all of them in your family, right? So as long as you switch between them and then you’re going to end up with this chain of thoughts that ends up in any sort of discussion.
Kel: And they might be really specific as well. So, we were saying talk about a family but they might ask if something really like tell me more about your mother, or what values you get from your mother? Things like that so that that’s when you have to be quite specific and just talk about this one person because if you keep changing they might think, oh you’re not fully… fully responding to the question.
Pete: Brilliant. Alright, guys, we might finish up here for the free content. So, this is going to be on the podcast, obviously and it’s going to be on the YouTube channel. Make sure that if you would like all of the bonus content for this episode today where we’re going to break down more of these expressions, collocations and hopefully give you more tools for describing your family and doing better on IELTS, make sure that you go to theaussieenglishclassroom.com sign up. The link will be below. See you there.
A male surfer’s been killed in a shark attack near Wedge Island north of Perth. The attack happened just after 9 O’clock local time. Joining us now for more on the story is Sky News Perth reporter Michael Hopkins. Mike, what do we know at this stage?
Yes, hello. Well, what we know at this stage is that police have confirmed that it was, indeed, a fatal shark attack at Wedge Island, a holiday spot to Perth’s north at 9 O’clock this morning. Now, police are still searching the area with boats and also with quad bikes on the beach in a bid to find the surfer’s remains.
What is up, guys? What is up, you mob? How are you going? This is the first episode where you guys get to hear from ‘married Pete’.
So, how’s it going? Sorry, it’s been a little while with these expression episodes. I hope, as well, that you’ve got to check out the marriage and wedding episode that I published recently on the podcast and on YouTube. So, go and check that out if you haven’t and if you want to hear about all of what happened last weekend with Kel and me getting married. It was an amazing day. Anyway.
So, the video from the start there, guys, the video from the start was from Sky News, which you can check out at SkyNews.com.au. You can also check them out on YouTube and Sky News if you would like to watch stories about Australia and other parts of the world.
So, that was about a shark attack that occurred in Australia, and Australia is relatively well-known for having shark attacks relatively commonly, I guess. It’s up there in the most dangerous places in the world for sharks, but we will talk about that later on in the Aussie Fact as well as about some other animals that are more likely to kill you than sharks, and those animals might surprise you.
So, as usual guys, if you would like to support the podcast and you would like to get access to all the transcripts and all the MP3s for these episodes, make sure that you go to theAussieEnglishPodcast.com, go to the menu click ‘Sign Up’, and for just $4.99 per month you will get access to everything.
On top of that, guys, if you would like to get access to the Aussie English Classroom and all the courses that I make for these expression episodes with vocab, with expression videos, with pronunciation videos, and other courses too with Australian interviews and Australian pronunciation, make sure that you go to theAussieEnglishClassroom.com, and then click ‘Enroll’, and sign up and get in there and start levelling up your English.
I want to say a big thank you to all of you guys who signed up in the last week. We had been doing a special promotion for year memberships and 3-month memberships and a heap of you guys signed up. So, it is so good to see that the Aussie English Classroom is expanding and helping so many people. And it was a way of thanking you guys for your hard work and giving you an amazing deal when you sign up for three months or a year.
Now, those deals are gone, unfortunately, for now. They are gone. However, you are still able to sign up. You just won’t save the same amount of money. Okay. So, you’ll just jump over to theAussieEnglishClassroom.com if you’re interested in that. Anyway. Enough of talking about all that stuff, guys. Get that out of the way and let’s get into the Aussie English joke.
So, today’s expression’s ‘out of the blue’ and that have me thinking about sharks. You might see the connection later on. And so, I thought I’ll try and find a shark joke. Okay. So, here’s the joke.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark? What did a seal with a broken arm say did the shark?
Do not consume if ‘seal’ is broken. It’s so stupid. Do not consume if ‘seal’ is broken.
I wonder if you get that. Alright, let me explain. So, often when you go to the shops, if you buy something that’s in a jar or in some kind of packet, quite often it will say that if the seal of the jar of the seal of the packet is broken, don’t consume the food inside, because it means that air has gotten in and there may be bacteria in there and the food may have gone off, it may have gone bad. Okay. So, you’ll often see, ‘Do not consume if seal is broken’.
So, the joke here is that obviously a seal is also that animal, you know, that lives in the ocean and jumps on the land sometimes to sunbathe than have babies, but they are often hunted by sharks, and so, the seal with a broken arm says to the shark, ‘don’t consume if seal is broken’. Jesus. Anyway, guys.
Today’s expression is ‘out of the blue’ and this came from Fatimah in the Aussie English Classroom. We have the Facebook group. We vote on these expressions. Fatimah suggested this one and she crushed it, she did very well, and it got voted on by everyone. Let’s go through and define the words in ‘out of the blue’.
So, ‘out of something’, right. ‘Out of something’. If you’re out of something, it’s that you’re coming out of something, you’re exiting something, right. It’s sort of the opposite of going into something, ‘out of something’ is leaving something, from being within something. Okay. Pretty self-explanatory. I’m sure you guys know what ‘out of something’ is.
‘The blue’. Now, this might be more confusing. ‘Blue’ is obviously a colour, right. The sky is blue. The ocean is blue. My eyes are blue. What else is blue? I don’t know. Other things are blue. Anyway. In this case, though, it doesn’t refer to the colour, specifically. It’s referring to the sky, which I guess is blue. But ‘the blue’ in this case means the sky.
So, let’s define the expression ‘out of the blue’. I wonder if you guys have heard this. Something happens out of the blue, right. If it’s… just appears out of the blue. What could that mean?
‘Out of the blue’ means out of nowhere, to appear unexpectedly or surprisingly, you know. You’re not expecting that thing to happen or to appear. It is appearing out of the blue. It’s appearing out of nowhere.
So, ‘the blue’ in this case refers to the sky, the blue sky, as we said, and usually, thunderstorms with, you know, thunder and lightning, don’t tend to happen when there’s a clear blue sky. But when it does happen, it’s a surprise that no one expects, it’s unexpected, it’s surprising. And apparently an older version of this expression was ‘a bolt out of the blue’ or ‘a bolt from the blue’, which referred to a completely unexpected and surprising appearance of a thunderbolt from a clear blue sky, right, out of nowhere.
So, we can use this literally, if someone, say, appears in front of you. They appear out of nowhere. You know, it’s shocking, it’s surprising, unexpected. But we can use it to for things that people say or maybe emotions, you know, non-physical things, right. So, if someone suddenly says something or burps or yawns or, you know, does something like that where you could say, oh, that was out of the blue. You know, I got upset and it was out of the blue.
So, let’s go through some examples, guys, to try and show you how I would use this expression in my day-to-day life. Okay.
So, example number one. Imagine that you are going to the beach with your mates. You’re about to hit the beach. You want to go for a surf or a body board or a body surf or maybe just a cheeky dip in the ocean at your favourite beach, your favourite Australian beach, maybe Bondi Beach or Bell’s Beach down here where Rip Curl Pro is often held each year, the surfing competition. So, you all dive into it. You pile out of the car when you get to the beach. You put your wettie is on, or maybe you’re wearing board shorts, you put your boardies on, your grab your boards and you dive into the water to catch a first wave. The waves are about six foot. It’s incredibly clean, you know, it’s not choppy, it’s not… the water’s not rough, there’s an offshore wind as well making the waves perfect, and you and your mates are carving it up each time you catch one of these incoming waves. When all of a sudden, out of the blue, one of your mates spots a large fin pop above the surface of the water a few metres away. Now, you all panic, you all frantically start swimming to shore and fear the worst. You think, oh no, it’s going to be a shark and it’s going to ruin our awesome day. But it turns out to be a lone dolphin who wants to join your ranks to catch a wave or two itself. So, it just appeared out of the blue, unexpectedly, out of nowhere.
Example number two. You’re at home on a weekend and you plan on binge watching your favorite TV show, right. I was doing this recently watching The Walking Dead. So, you’ve got to drink out of the fridge, you know, your favorite beer, your favorite soft drink, you’ve got some chips or your favorite snack, and you’ve kicked back on the couch and you’ve put the first episode on. So, you get through most of the show, but the tension starts to build, the show starts to climax, there’s a bit of suspense, something big is about to happen in the show when all of a sudden, out of the blue, the power goes off, the TV screen goes black. You might scream out, no! I wanted to see what was going to happen. You’ll lose it, you get upset, because you can’t see what was about to happen on the show, because out of the blue, unexpectedly, surprisingly, out of nowhere, the power went out.
Example number three. You’re at home one day cleaning the house after your kids have been playing and they’ve made a bit of a mess of the place, right. They’d been mucking around with finger-paint or food or something. They’ve made a mess. So, you’re busy cleaning away, when all of a sudden, the doorbell goes or someone knocks on the door. So, you go and open it up and it turns out that it’s a long-lost friend who you haven’t seen since you were at school, you know, maybe 20 years ago. So, you might say, Wow! How did you know I was here? That’s so out of the blue. Where did you come from? I haven’t seen you in yonks. I haven’t seen you in donkey’s years. I haven’t seen you in ages. But what an awesome surprise. It’s great to see you even if it is randomly and out of the blue.
So, hopefully guys you understand the expression now ‘out of the blue’. It is for something to appear physically or figuratively out of nowhere, unexpectedly, surprisingly.
So, as usual, let’s go through a listen and repeat exercise where you guys can practice your pronunciation. You can work on your Australian accent if that is something that you are trying to master at the moment. Listen and repeat after me. Or work on the accent that you are currently targeting, you know, British, US, whatever it is, and say these words with that accent. Let’s go.
Out of the
Out of the blue x 5
It’s pretty interesting, actually. There’s quite a bit of pronunciation and connected speech modifying there when I say those words by themselves or when I say them together, right. Out, out of, out of the, out of the blue. That’s interesting.
Anyway, we’ll go over that more in the Aussie English Classroom pronunciation video for this episode, guys. Remember to sign up to that if you are interested in improving your English and improving your pronunciation. TheAussieEnglishClassroom.com. Oh! And I almost forgot, we’ll go through a sentence and now we will conjugate through, ‘I appeared out of the blue’, ‘you appeared out of the blue’. Okay, so listen and repeat after me.
I appeared out of the blue
You appeared out of the blue
He appeared out of the blue
She appeared out of the blue
We appeared out of the blue
They appeared out of the blue
It appeared out of the blue
Man, there’s a lot of t-flaps going on there. ‘It appeared out of the blue’.
Alright. Aussie English Fact for the day, guys. So, sharks. I wanted to talk about shark attacks as they tend to occur out of the blue, right, and they’re a common occurrence in Australia, at least the media would have you believe this. It tends to always be one on the on the TV every week or two, you hear about a shark attack. And then I want to talk about shark culling, okay? And this is a hot topic that pollies, politicians, are always yacking about on the telly as well.
Alright, so unsurprisingly shark attacks have been happening in Australia since the first humans arrived here nearly 50,000 or 60,000 years ago when they first surrendered to the enticing ocean waters that surrounded the continent. The earliest shark attack that was fatal that’s on record occurred in the early years of British colonisation in Port Jackson where an Aboriginal woman was swimming and she was, quote, “bitten in two” by a shark.
Between the years of 1958 and 2018, there have been 536 shark attacks in Australia, and we are number two on the list of shark attacks in the world. 73 of these shark attacks proved to be fatal to the victims. Australia comes in at number two with the US at number one with more than double the number of shark attacks at 1104. But despite this, there are actually twice as many deaths in Australia as there are in the US who recorded only 35 fatalities in the same period of time. Interesting. It seems that, statistically speaking, in Australia you have the highest chance of being attacked and killed by a shark than anywhere else in the world.
If you’re interested in taking your chances at the most dangerous beach in Australia, then I suggest heading off to Coffin Bay in South Australia whose name seems appropriate, although, there may not be enough of you left to warrant using a coffin.
Although, shark attacks often receive a lot of air time on national and state news, you’re far more likely to be killed by a bunch of other less-suspecting and cute and cuddly animals Down Under.
In 2011, Australia’s National Coronial Information System, or NCIS, released its first report into the trends and patterns surrounding animal-related deaths in Australia where they evaluated the first decade of this century from the years 2000 to 2010. The report discovered that horses, including ponies and donkeys, were Australia’s most deadly animal causing 77 deaths in a 10-year period. So, 7.7 deaths a year.
Next on the list of cute and cuddly but more likely to kill you than a shark were cows, including bulls and cattle, which accounted for 33 deaths, 16 of which, interestingly enough, were during motor vehicle accidents. So, to any cows listening, get off the bloody road!
Number three on the list was man’s best friend, dogs, who killed 27 people from attacks most of which were children under the age of four and the elderly.
And the final unsuspecting death bringer to humans on this list before sharks is the iconic and much beloved Australian kangaroo, which accounted for 18 deaths, albeit, indirectly, through motor vehicle accidents. So, again, Skippy, get off the road!
Place five and six was a tie with bees and sharks both accounting for 16 deaths in a 10-year period. So, 1.6 deaths per year. So, there you go.
Next time you’re second guessing taking a dip at Bondi Beach for fear of being devoured by the tooth-filled gnashing jaws of a shark, remember, that you’re much more likely to die from animals like horses, cows, kangaroos, dogs, and even bees than you are sharks.
So, why do sharks attack humans? Are they hunting us like the movie Jaws famously depicts? The answer is definitely no. Feeding is not the reason that sharks attack humans. In fact, humans don’t provide enough high-fat meat for sharks, which need a lot of energy to power their large muscular bodies. Sharks are just inquisitive animals and have no hands to explore the world around them and these unknown objects that they might stumble across bobbing around in the ocean. Therefore, they’re left with a jaw full of razor-sharp teeth to satiate their curiosity and explore any objects they may come across. Unfortunately, for us though, one simple exploratory nip from a large shark is usually a grievous and life-threatening injury to any human when coming from a great white, a tiger, or a bull shark, the three sharks that are the most common culprits for human fatalities.
Unfortunately, beach-loving Australians are insistent on partaking in one of their favorite pastimes, their favourite hobbies, enjoying the beaches and oceans around the country. And shark attacks often cause hysteria in the media and are quickly commandeered by politicians looking to gain favour and win votes by stirring up fear and promising easy solutions.
This is where the contentious issue of shark nets and drum lines come into play in Australia. Shark nets are often placed in the water to prevent sharks entering certain beaches, but they are criticised by environmentalists and conservationists alike who claim that these nets are extremely destructive to marine life and often harm or even kill sharks, which are an important part of a healthy marine ecosystem.
Drum lines are unmanned aquatic traps used to lure, capture, and kill large sharks using baited hooks connected to floating drums that indiscriminately kill any shark curious enough to take a bite of the bait. They’re often deployed in locations after an attack in the hopes of catching the perpetrating shark that attacked a human or at least reducing the numbers of big sharks in the area. However, like shark nets, drum lines have been heavily criticised as being ineffective, cruel, unethical, non-scientific, and environmentally destructive. One analogy I saw was if a tradie murdered one person and then disappeared, would killing five other Australian tradies at random make Australia safer?
So, finishing up, every time you decide to take a dip in the ocean you’re obviously at risk of a shark attack. True. But you’re much more likely to die from things like kangaroos and horses in car accidents than you are from a shark. So, just be safe, be smart, and if you want to bring your risk to 0%, stay out of the water. Simple as that.
Anyway, guys thank you so much. It’s always a pleasure when you guys join me and listen to these episodes. I know that they’re helping a lot of people. You get back to me, you send me emails, you send me comments on Instagram, on Facebook, and it means a lot to me, guys, and I’ll want to give you a big, big, big thank you from both me and Kel to everyone who gave us their well-wishes and congratulations after the wedding. That really meant a lot to both of us. So, thank you so much, guys, and we were so happy to be able to share that experience with you as well on Instagram and on YouTube.
So, that’s it for this week guys. I hope you enjoy the episode. I hope to see you in the Aussie English Classroom and I will chat to you very soon. See you, guys.
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What a beautiful day! I have just woken up and it is so calm out here on the deck. Anyway, I am putting together currently, I mean, you’re about to listen to it, I’m putting together the episode for the podcast where we talk about our wedding, we got married! Let me show you! On the weekend and it was an amazing experience and I had a few questions from some of the people who had seen that we got married on Instagram, can you talk about…
What have you got in your face, mate? This is my folks’ dog, ah he’s got sand, he’s been on the beach.
So, they were asking about talking about Western culture and marriage here. And so, we didn’t have the typical marriage as you’ll find out in this episode, but yeah Kel I sit down, we chat for about 24 minutes or so about the wedding, about marriage in Western society, in Australia, and also in Brazil as well.
Hopefully you get heaps of vocab, heaps of expressions, different things to talk about marriage if you guys are already married or going to get married in the future so, be a good episode to learn about how to talk about those things and you’ll also obviously get to hear about what the day was like. So, yeah and apologies that I didn’t get an expression episode out on Sunday, that was the day after the wedding, the wedding was on Saturday and I didn’t have enough time, had friends down was entertaining then, was with Kel and was also hungover and sobering up on the Sunday. Anyway, let’s get into this episode.
You ready to rock? Now you have to do it. Nah, nah, you do it. You’ve got to do “What’s up, guys? Welcome to this episode of Aussie English.” No, you do it. Go for it. You have to do it. No, go for it. No, you do it. No you got to do it. No. You got this. No, no, baby. Go for it. You got it. No, no. Go for it.
G’day, guys! Welcome to this episode of Aussie English. See how easy that was?
Today we’re going to be talking about the wedding. Achievement unlocked!
Achievement unlocked! Good.
So, where do you want to start, Kelly? What’s the… so, once upon a time there was YouTube.
There was… I think everyone pretty much knows about how we met and things like that.
So, we can fast forward through that, we met on YouTube. Kelly commented on a video. I saw she was Portuguese. Well, Brazilian speaking Portuguese and I was like hey do you want to practice? like oh yeah by the way you’re also really cute.
And then fast forward one year three months and you’d moved down here.
And we were in a relationship. Fast forward nine months. We’d gone to Canberra. Kelly got a job there and then Kelly quit the job to study back in Melbourne. Kelly got pregnant.
Another achievement unlocked.
Another achievement unlocked. And then we also organised the wedding as well, but the wedding was going to be obviously November 17.
Yes. So, the first idea we had was… we always wanted something really simple and low key and like not of people, my family is now here, so…
That was the difficult thing here. We either married in Brazil with all of your family, none in my family, or we get married here with all of my family none of your family.
But to go to Brazil there would be a lot of money spent…
Especially considering we would come back here.
So, we decided to, you know, just have a celebration here with your family and some friends of ours and but we were going to do there at the Magistry, I believe that’s what it’s called.
Where were going to go just to the…I guess the city hall or whatever it is and a sign the documents and just have it officially done without any big ceremony as such.
But then we thought well we already live in an Ocean Grove.
We found the celebrant.
Oh yes, true! The day we were going to Melbourne to, you know, give the papers the Registry whatever. We realized we needed a celebrant and there was a bit of a misunderstanding, on the website Deaths and Marriages and Births wherever, they are quite clear. Like if you have to arrange your own celebrant or if you just give in the papers, you sign everything and they arrange everything for you. But basically, I thought well…we do have to celebrate, we haven’t arranged that. So, I just googled something like wedding celebrants, non-religious, whatever in Melbourne.
Because we didn’t want to get married at a synagogue, church, mosque or anything like that, it was just we need someone who says the words can do the documents, the legal documents and then can obviously hand those in.
And we found Mr. Wayne.
We found Wayne. So, somehow Kel found…I think you emailed a bunch of these people who were just listed so, there’s obviously some kind of list of registered celebrants and.
He replied to me really quickly and he was happy to meet us in Melbourne, he lives in Melbourne in his apartment. The funny thing was, when we got there, one, he’s not a average celebrant.
He’s a surgeon and his wife is an obstetrician. So, a doctor for children or for giving birth, right? And so we would just like it what? Why would you be a celebrant and yet you’re a… you’re probably a millionaire, you know, like a surgeon and he’s just like I retired and I just did this for fun now and he mainly just married friends so, he was like how did you guys find me because I don’t marry people I don’t know, usually?
Usually his friends and people he knows.
It’s much easier for him to work with them.
And he just does it as a hobby, of a way of meeting people and getting out into something interesting and fun to do.
And we were just like this random couple, knocking at his door like hey, can you marry us? And he was absolutely amazing, friendly, like really…He has a good sense of humor.
So, I think he asked us where are you planning on getting married? What do you want to do? Blah blah blah. And we were just like well…we had just planned to go to the Registry just sign the documents. Do you want to do that? And then he was like… better idea, we’ll do it somewhere nice, you know, we can do it in Melbourne, you could do it at my apartment, you could do it somewhere near your place in Ocean Grove. And then he mentioned the fact that he goes down there every second weekend or something to learn how to make gin, in a gin distillery, a place where they distill gin close here and we were like oh maybe we’ll check that place out because he said you can get married there. It’s very new, it’s really cute. You know, they serve food, they serve the gin and the whiskey that they make there as well as other drinks. So, it’s a nice kind of…kind of equivalent of a vineyard, right? Like if you guys go to a wine tasting places and vineyards it’s kind of like that, but it’s for whiskey and gin there’s no wine or vines there. So, that was really cool, we went and checked that out.
Yeah…everything was so random and unusual, right?
Unplanned, true. We went there and we absolutely loved the place. Is his name Russ?
Russ, as in Russell.
The owner of the whiskery.
Not like Ross, from Friends. Russ.
He was just great with us, really generous.
Really friendly guy.
You guys just come, you know, the place is yours, you know.
It was all free.
The thing was too, he was like I’m not going to close the venue down for you, guys, because he has other people who come and they buy drinks and do everything because it’s open to anyone, but you guys can do it for free so, you just find a little area you guys can get married there and then afterwards you can get drinks, you can get food, you can do whatever you want on the grounds.
And because he had such a small group of people, I think we were 17?
Yeah there’s probably about 17 to 20 of us maximum, not over 20.
It was great because, you know, everyone could chat to one another and like just enjoy themselves, we didn’t have to give attention to a lot of people. Everyone was having fun.
That’s it, because, I mean, it’s probably hard for you, guys, to… I guess realise or notice what I’m like, but I’m pretty modest or at least I’m not even modest, but I just don’t like attention. Like I can do this sort of stuff, obviously, and I enjoy doing this, but when it comes to like people paying direct attention to me and, you know, me standing up in front of a group of people and especially when it’s like they’re there to congratulate you, you know, birthdays for instance, I hate birthdays and I don’t mind groups of people and teaching and stuff, but when it comes to people going Oh well, that’s amazing, that’s so good Pete, I’m like don’t to do that.
So, I was like not a big waiting I don’t want to invite extended family I just kind of want friends and family close friends and family there and keep it really small and we’ll get it done fast. Fortunately, Kel was the kind of person who wasn’t after a huge wedding either, mainly because you want to save money and not to spend out the wazoo so, we could talk about that too so, we had a small wedding. Friends and family, less than 20 people. The venue was free. So, there you go.
Yeah, we were really lucky.
The celebrant was 400 dollars, which is pretty cheap. That’s the standard, I think, it would be about a few hundred bucks. usually, especially for simple weddings like that. The rings, we can talk about this. This is a white gold, so Kel and I went to… I can’t remember the name of the place…
Jersens? Something like that.
Yes, something in Melbourne and she was pretty much like we want wedding bands. This is called a wedding band, where it’s just a plain ring and she’s like cheapest ones you’ve got, but for context, mine was about 900 dollars for the whole process, Kel’s was over 500 dollars so, you’re looking at about fifteen hundred bucks for white gold rings so, that’s gold silver and platinum.
They’re very simple and I know I sound really stingy, but ….
There’s no point. I feel like too, I’m locking up a lot of… I don’t want to lock up a lot of money in something like this that I’m never going to have access to again, right? I’d rather spend. What this means is more important than what it is. And so it could be a chisel or a burger ring, though I probably wouldn’t last very long, and that’s what it means more so and I can spend that money on other things like holidays or Aussie English or clothes or baby stuff, whatever.
I think having the baby, being pregnant and very soon having the baby is kind of… is in my mind all the time, so I’m like…
We can’t keep putting the bank to zero.
So, we spent that on the rings, we spent 400 something..
So less than 2.000 for the rings and the celebrant.
We were lucky that your parents are really generous.
My parents paid for the food and the drinks at the whiskery, but considering it was probably 20 people, each person probably had two drinks and a little bit of food. Dad probably didn’t spend over 500 bucks, maybe a bit more than 500 bucks if that.
Yeah, if that. It wasn’t an expensive place.
It wasn’t ridiculously.
And we didn’t have all these meals coming out. The food was finger food, so the kind of food that you can just… comes out on plates like cheese platters, pizzas and you can just take a little bit here and there, it wasn’t like a three-course meal, which was fine too because we were there for lunch and again we didn’t want to spend a shitload of money and we didn’t want.
We initially were thinking people would just buy their own food were hungry, because that’s an option too right if you guys go somewhere you can just say guys we’ll shout you the first drink or something, you know, the first drinks on us, not even that, maybe we’re keeping it small, we don’t want to spend a lot of money. So, if you guys want to buy drinks and food you know you can do that individually, totally up to you, guys, but Dad just surprised us and was like oh here’s my credit card if anyone wants to buy something go for it. Here it is.
And that’s another advantage of having such a low-key sort off party, if you have to pay for the food and drinks it’s not going to be a lot of money.
That’s the thing that can go really expensive really fast.
If you have 200 people you do not want to offer that.
100 bucks each. That’s 20 thousand dollars.
That’s 20 thousand dollars.
Yeah. So, what else? That was it.
What are the other customs? So, I had a question from I think it was Evra. I’m not sure, there was someone who asked me via email can you talk about customs in getting married so, usually the father of the bride will pay for the wedding. That’s a typical thing, although that’s not… that’s not back held to. My dad would probably tell my sister to get stuffed if she said I want a wedding with 200 people, it’s going to be fifty thousand dollars, we’re going to have horses. We’re going to have…He would be like I don’t have 50 thousand dollars to spend on you. So, typically in Western culture the dad of the bride will pay for the wedding and it’ll be… you’ll have a ceremony. If you’re religious, it’ll be at a church or a mosque or a synagogue or whatever where you get married and then you usually have the bride and groom go away with photographers for a few hours and get photos at all these different places, at wherever you guys are interested the beach, could be, you know, the stables with horses, a vineyard, the bay.
And then after that you have…sorry?
We are a really lucky couple, because it happens that your dad is a photographer, so he took all of our photos, you took really good photos of me getting ready, like friends helping out and.
We had the camera at the house whilst Kel was putting the dress on and everything, I was just like oh just taking photos.
Your photos are really, really good.
We’ll show you some, you’ll put them on the video hopefully.
We didn’t have to pay for that, but the celebrant, Wayne, was saying that a wedding of some of his friends or whatever just the photos.
Videographer, so people doing the photos and the videos is 8 thousand dollars, for one day’s work. I guess they’re doing the editing afterwards.
Yeah. But it’s just, we have other priorities, right?
Exactly. So, yeah often the bride and groom will get, their pay someone else externally to do the photos, a proper wedding photographer, so that you’ve got memories and everything and maybe videos. And then after that in the evening you usually have a reception where you receive all of the guests and they can congratulate you one on one and chat to you, you’ll have speeches where everyone…the parents of the bride and groom get up and talk and say, you know, it’s amazing to have x y z in our family and it’s such a pleasure. We hope you guys you’re an amazing couple, we’re going to have kids blah blah blah. And then the bride and groom will usually get up and say something and then you’ll have meals usually spread out so, like you’ll have one meal, speeches, another meal, speeches and then at the end after all the food and when everyone’s probably pretty drunk you’ll have the first dance so, someone to play a song, the song of the couple and they’ll have their first dance together and then usually that lasts for 30 seconds to an entire song and they’ll ask for everyone to then come on to the dance floor. And then, after the reception, everyone usually goes home, wasted. And then you’ll have a honeymoon and it can be directly after the reception where you and the fiancée, sorry, you and your wife, the wife and the groom can now go away on your honeymoon. Or it could be it… could be a period of time after the actual wedding itself, may be days or weeks later.
Yeah, I was going to say I don’t feel that in Brazil there’s a…I don’t think there’s much pressure on the father to bride to pay for the wedding. It is a convention, but I think…
That would be a Catholic thing too.
I think families are happy to share. I would expect my parents to be happy to pay for a couple things and your parents pay for other things, but not like oh yeah that’s my dad’s job to do that or like even your dad’s job, like his is a very shared sort of agreement or whatever arrangement when someone gets married that the families share the costs.
I think you could have that here too you would just have to sort of talk about it.
Yeah, it depends on the party you want to have as well, for us if we were in Brazil or your families my family was here it would be easy to do that because you always wanted like something simple and tiny, but if you have a massive party that’s much harder for people to afford.
Well, even us we’re well off, you know, standards wise, I mean upper middle class in Australia, but I can’t imagine asking my dad to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding for me. It’s like one day, you know, I would feel too guilty as an Australian or a Westerner doing that. I mean and there are people who do that. We had a story at one of my friends who came to the wedding was telling us about her friend who spent a hundred and fifty thousand dollars on their wedding and her money to her husband or fiancé at that time, she got him to sell an investment property that he had, an investment property to pay for the frickin’ wedding and she didn’t even like the wedding!
Oh I would get divorced! Next day!
So, that blows my mind, spending that amount of money and it’s I think for them it’s obviously much more a status thing and showing off to everyone and making sure everyone knows that you had all this money, you don’t have it anymore.
There’s nothing, if you have the money, there’s nothing wrong with having a big party and you know.
But I think you have to sell an investment property to pay for the wedding, you don’t have the money.
If you’re rich and if you can afford that, go fo it, it’s beautiful, you have all the photos and you know videos and stuff, but for us, one, we don’t have this money, two, that’s not a priority and we’re just not one of those people, right? We kind of like simple stuff and we, you know, we don’t spend money on expensive things so, it wouldn’t be…us if we we’re going to spend a lot.
That would add another level of uncomfortableness to the experience. If it were incredibly extravagant and.
And that’s one of my favourite things about the wedding. Two things, one, everyone loved the place! It was a beautiful sunny day, which is quite lucky again because it tends to rain a lot here or be cold, but it was a beautiful sunny day. People just loved the whiskery, everyone was happy, comfortable and the thing I liked the most was that you were very comfortable. We didn’t want to have vows or, you know, I’m uncomfortable standing in front of people and saying things, English is not my first language so, I was like oh if I have to say, you know, a poem or whatever I’ll quite… I might stumble into my words, but we were really, really comfortable.
I guess too…something worth talking about or mentioning too is that Wayne, the celebrant, what happened with that is that he reads out what marriage, is what it means and the contract you’re about to enter into. And then he repeats a certain set of sentences that I have to repeat after him and then Kel has to repeat after him as well so, I do mine first like I Peter Smissen voluntarily enter into this agreement blah blah blah blah blah. And then at the end it used to be that you would one of you would say I do and the other one would say I do, but now it’s just we you do. We say we do and then at the end we put the rings on each other’s fingers so I do Kel’s finger, she does my finger, puts the ring on and then he says I now pronounce you man and wife yeah and presents us to the crowd.
Well, we had the option if we wanted we could have said something special to each other, like something that I had written or about as, our stories.
The vows. You can say like I’ll love you forever and I would cut my left arm off to be with you.
Some couples sing to each other, I thought about that and even the thought of having, saying something in Portuguese, just because, you know, people wouldn’t understand.
Eu gosto de você, cara. (Portuguese – I like you, mate)
But then I’m like I just want to get it done and then join the party, having time with people.
So, it was probably five or 10 minutes and then we we were having drinks and eating.
And also to mention clothing the standard sort of thing for Western weddings. The man will have a tuxedo of some kind usually, although it can be any kind of suit really. So, what you’re comfortable with and it may go from, you know, having a tie, having a vest or a bow tie, having the jacket on pants everything like that and the woman will usually have some kind of white wedding dress and they can go… they can be incredibly extravagant all the way to pretty simple and she’ll usually have a veil on her head as well, sort of like white lace that goes over the face that he lifts up at the end to kiss her, when you kiss the bride.
I didn’t have that.
And the good thing too was Kel had a friend in Canberra that she’d met who was the same size as you and said oh you can just use my wedding dress for free. So, she had bought that wedding dress for probably two and a half to three thousand dollars and Kel to use it for free for that day. Saving a great deal of money.
It fits perfectly, everyone was saying you look really nice and I loved the photos the dress and everything. So, again, one, we were really lucky and I’m quite…you know, I really like reusing things and getting things second hand. So, when she offered I was like, you sure you want to do it? Because some people get jealous about you know their wearing dresses and stuff.
But you were just like hell yeah, I’ll use this.
I’m just like, if you’re comfortable with that, and she came to the wedding, her husband came. If it’s not awkward for you, I would love to use your dress. She was like go for it and yeah, it was perfect!
And I just had a shirt and some nice chino pants because I was like… we went shopping for me and it got pretty easy to quickly spend thousands of dollars or hundreds to thousands of dollars on a suit and Kel is like no, she wouldn’t even let me get a jacket.
People will think I control the finances.
You do to some degree, but I don’t really care enough. If I wanted it that badly I would push. So, I ended up buying a shirt, a nice shirt and some nice pants and that was all I wore. I already had some nice shoes and to be honest I got those from Target or something and they look really expensive, but they cost about 30 dollars to be honest.
Didn’t know that!
So the whole wedding I think all cost us maybe two and a bit thousand dollars.
2 grand, I would say.
That’s about it. We could have probably gone to three or four thousand if we’d had to pay for a dress as well and for all the food. Well the venue and everything else, but yeah. So, that was that was a wedding on a good budget on a good budget.
Absolutely. It was much better than I expected. It was absolutely amazing. It was as natural, quick, like…
The weather was beautiful.
It was beautiful.
We were situated under this tree that was flowering with these purple flowers that were falling on the ground, that was pretty cool.
So I’m really happy with everything, it was everything I wanted, it was really nice.
But yeah, hopefully you, guys, enjoy this episode. Hopefully there’s a lot of information in here with regards to weddings, especially obviously Australian weddings and hopefully… I would love to know what you think. I guess, that will be interesting. Do you guys want huge extravagant weddings or do you imagine having small weddings like ours that are pretty modest? You know and let us know in a comment below.
Make it easy for yourselves. Spend the money on something else. Buy a house, buy a car, buy a camera and go on holiday.
Do other things.
It is your day, you can do whatever you want.
I think that’s an important thing too, is that it ultimately is your day and you should definitely take control of it and say I’m going to do what I want to do, not what I think others want or not what other people want and then try to impose on you as well.
Don’t compare yourself to like…oh someone I know had this massive party. If you believe in other things like I would much rather have a small party with a tiny group of people, go for it! No one has nothing to do with it.
Anyway, thanks for joining us, guys. See you soon!
Alright, guys! So, I hope you enjoyed that episode, I would love to know if you guys have gotten married or if you’re thinking of getting married. Give me your opinions. Give me your views. Tell me your experiences and what is marriage like in the country that you’re from. You know, I can imagine that it is completely different in places like Russia or China or India. So, yeah let me know what you think in a comment below. A comment on Facebook or whatever it is and I will be getting back into the routine of podcasts and videos as usual this week as usual yeah. Anyway, thanks for joining me.
Banjo is looking pretty chuffed! Look at this! You going to say goodbye? Going to say goodbye, mate! Look at that sand on your face.! You had a good time at the beach. Did you? Anyway, guys! Thanks for joining me and I’ll chat to you soon.
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G’day, guys. What is going on?
I thought I would do a quick video tonight, because I’ve got a few announcements and I also thought I would just give you an update as to what I’m doing and what… I’ll just put this chair up a bit so that I’m not feeling like a really really small person. All right.
So, announcements wise, I have just enabled the 3-month and 12-month subscriptions to the Aussie English Classroom for the next week. Okay. So, you can go to the Aussie English classroom, this is my online classroom where I put up a weekly courses designed to teach advanced English, expressions, vocab, slang, pronunciation, all of that kind of stuff, and yeah, I’ve made this deal to say thank you to you guys. There’s been a lot of members who have been around for I think up to two years now. Some of you guys have been there for two years, which is absolutely insane and this is my way of saying thank you. Thank you very much.
I want to reward you guys who sign up for long periods of time and who plan to be in the classroom for a long period of time. So, as of today, for the next seven days, what is today, the 14th, so until the 21st of November, 2018, you will be able to sign up and get three months and save 18% or get 12 months, an entire year, and save 55% percent. Okay.
So, go down, press the link in the description, or just go to theAussieEnglishclassroom.com, go to enrol, and you can sign up and do that.
And if you are already a member, you can go to My Account > Subscriptions and just upgrade your subscription. Anyway.
That aside, let’s get into some announcements, guys.
Kel and I are getting married this weekend. So, that is pretty cool. I’m pretty excited about that.
We have been wearing our rings for the last two weeks or so, because we’ve just got to be excited and they had come in the mail, so we’re going to sort of phased about putting them on on the day. We’re sort of unconventional and not very, I guess, conservative with regards to our views of marriage, etc..
So, we’ve been running around in our rings. you have seen that ring popping up in videos. I don’t think you will have noticed if it was on the podcast that you were listening to. But that’s been interesting. It’s taken a while to get used to having the ring on my finger, and also, just pulling it off and putting it on, pulling it off, putting it on, every time I go to the gym, because I don’t want to destroy it from all the metal handles and things in the gym. So, I have to constantly be taking it off and making sure that it’s kept safe and sound in my wallet.
So, anyway, (we) took them off today, put them in the box, and we have another four days until we get married. We’re getting married on Saturday, and it’s not a conventional marriage, it’s a bit different. So, we’re doing a very low key, meaning there aren’t going to be many people there. It’s not going to be incredibly extravagant, incredibly overdone. It’s more just that we want to have a small ceremony and then just hang out with our closest friends.
We also didn’t really want to have a lot of family, at least I didn’t, because I’m kind of modest like that. I don’t really like a big fuss. We didn’t want to have a lot of family because it Kel’s family’s all in Brazil. So, it’s… it would be my side full of people and it would be her side with no one there. So, we decided not to really have anyone there. I think there will be easily less than 20 people who come to our wedding.
Where’s it going to be? It is going to be at a distillery, a whisky and gin distillery, down here on the Bellarine Peninsula, which is really cool. We found it, and it was a really crazy story. We’d met this celebrant online because we have to find a celebrant, the guy who marries people. We found him online. We went up to Melbourne, met him, did all the forms, had a chat about what we wanted, and then he suggested a few places around Geelong that we could get married at, and we hadn’t really had anything in mind. We were just thinking of doing it at the beach or doing it at our house. He suggested this and we checked it out and it was awesome. Really nice place, lots of wood, really cosy, the outdoors is really nice, there’s lots of trees and chairs under the trees, and one of the trees there is full of these purple flowers at the moment. So, we’ll be getting married underneath that.
So yeah, it’s going to be… I think it be a really good day. I don’t know. I Kel says she’s okay with it. She doesn’t win a huge thing either, but I don’t know. I think girls always want that kind of thing for their wedding. So, I hope Kel’s not too disappointed that it’s going to be very small and yeah casual. So, I mean I’m not even going to wear a suit. I’m going to be wearing a shirt and some nice pants and some nice shoes, but we just kind of wanted to save our money and not spend a lot of money on things that we’re never going to use again, right, or the things we will never be able to sell, right. So, like rings, we didn’t go absolutely out of control and buy a heap of really expensive rings, or at least two rings, that are very very very extravagant and expensive. We kept a pretty modest, because it was more about what they meant than how much they were worth. And we don’t really had a lot of money, so there’s that as well.
Okay, aside from that, we’re currently looking for houses, which has been interesting… We’ve done this a lot. So, we’re getting to be pros at finding houses and yeah we’re looking for houses in Ocean Grove at the moment. That would be good.
Kel is almost at 12 weeks with her pregnancy. So, she will have her scan in 10 days, I think, 10 or 12 days. We will be going to get the very first scan for the pregnancy. So, that’s when I think it will really sink in. I think that’s when it’s going to hit home, and I really realize, oh, shit, I’m going to be a dad, because up to now, I’ve had no real… I don’t know, I haven’t felt anything, I haven’t seen anything, I haven’t experienced anything, aside from what Kel has told me. Right? So, I can imagine for her with the hormones going up and down and up and down, feeling sick in the morning, having morning sickness, feeling energetic at other times, that sort of rollercoaster ride that she’s experiencing, I think the pregnancy for her is obviously a lot more real. She’s experiencing it firsthand. Whereas I just see her externally, on the outside, and all I see is someone who is feeling sick quite a lot, who then is energetic and wants to do things, and it’s sort of up and down.
So, it hasn’t quite sunk in, it hasn’t quite hit home with me yet, but I think once I see that picture of the baby that’s when my mind is going to be blown and I think it will start really sinking in. So yeah.
What else have we done recently? I’ll be doing loads of photography. Getting into that. And I set up a photography channel on YouTube. So you can find that if you’re interested in seeing me run about and take photos. Unfortunately, there’s no subtitles on it, ’cause that just takes a long time, and the majority of people watching that I assume will probably be English speakers.
So yeah, I’ve been doing that, running around, I love vlogging, I love sharing knowledge, and I love learning. So, that’s why I’m sort of doing that on the side too, although, I’m trying not to get too distracted and to keep doing I English, obviously.
We released our first IELTs episode on the podcast as I’m sure you guys have noticed. Feedback’s been really good since then. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I had one person complain and say, too much Brazil. Too much Brazil, Pete! You’re talking about Brazil way too much. And, sorry guys, sorry if I’m talking about Brazil too much at the moment. Obviously, it’s a big part of my life. You know, Kel’s Brazilian. I did jujitsu that’s Brazilian. I’ve lived with a whole bunch of Brazilians. So, that’s why I’ve been talking about it recently quite a bit. It’s just had a lot to do with my recent life. But I will try and branch out and tackle other kinds of topics, you know, I’ll try to interview more people as well in the near future and cover new topics about all kinds of things. I’m trying to get Wildman back on the podcast and on the YouTube channel as well. So, that’s been happening.
Today, we also recorded another episode for the podcast with Kel just an interview episode talking about house hunting and how to find a share house or how to rent a house for yourselves. So, that’s been about it.
And aside from that, it’s just, for me, it’s working, working, working, and saving as much money as possible to put aside for the baby, because, for us, we because of Kel, this is an interesting thing too that may help you guys. We weren’t really sure what was going to happen with paying for the medical bills, ’cause Kel’s not a citizen, she’s a Brazilian, and she’s just on a student visa. She doesn’t have permanent residency or anything like that. So, she’s got health insurance, fortunately, which she had to pay for before coming to Australia and that’s saved our arses. That saved our arses.
So, if she hadn’t had that insurance, it would have cost us $5,000, pretty much all of my savings, I think combined we had a bit more than that. That would have cost five grand assuming everything went well during the pregnancy. So, that’s the Medicare sort of coverage, right? You go to the hospital, they need five thousand dollars, and that’ll cover everything if the birth goes smoothly. If everything goes to plan.
However, if you don’t have insurance, and you need a Caesarian, or you need surgery, or something else, that can be up to $30,000 dollars more. A Caesarian is $30,000 Australian.
So, fortunately, we had saved up thinking we would have to pay for the $5,000, and just knock on wood and hope she didn’t need a caesarean or get a loan if she did, but if she found out she had insurance and that the insurance, fortunately, covered pregnancy. Okay. So, that’s a good thing.
But still we don’t really know what’s going to come up and what could happen in the future with regards to giving birth, having the child, the expenses related to that. So, we’re just saving, saving, saving and living on the cheap as we say, living on the cheap. Trying not to spend a lot of money, which for me is harder than it is for Kel. I think, Kel’s pretty used to not spending a lot of money, but I like eating food out. I like doing things. II like buying camera gear. I like drinking coffee. And so, it’s a little more difficult for me to sort of rein it in. You know that expression, to rein it in, like a horse, use the reins, rein it in, and not spend too much money Anyway, that’s about it recently.
Saving for the baby, also trying to save up for a deposit for a house, which is going to be like $50-$60,000. We are like one sixth of the way towards that. That is crazy. You need… and that’s 10 percent. That’s a 10 percent deposit on a house around here. It’s half a million dollars at least. Half a million to get a house here. Just to get a loan from the bank and they won’t give you a loan unless you have 10 percent already put aside. So, yeah, looks like we’re going to be saving for a while. That’s about it, guys.
Don’t forget, if you want to make the most of that deal for the Aussie English Classroom, that’s seven days left. So, make sure that you go down below if you’re watching this on YouTube. Go to theAussieEnglishClassroom.com, click ‘Enroll’, and you can sign up for a month if you want to try out for a buck, you can sign up for three months and save 18%, or you can sign up for one year, really get into it, really level up your English for a long time and save 55%, guys. It’s an amazing deal. It’s my way of saying thank you to you and rewarding the more serious students who are trying to take the English to the next level. I will stop talking. Thanks for joining me, guys, and I’ll see you in the next episode.
Peace! Wish me luck. Wish me luck!
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All righty guys, it looks like summer has arrived! It is a hot one, actually. Need to wind down the windows and let the hot air of the car out because it’s boiling inside here, but yeah back in Ocean Grove.
Living with the folks at the moment for the next few months as we get settled and get organised and yeah, I’m enjoying being back. Canberra was good, Canberra was good, but I definitely know how it feels now to be away from family and friends, you know, it wasn’t the same experience as I’m sure a lot of you guys have gone through with regards to moving, moving abroad, moving overseas and having to live away from friends and family and effectively start again, but I definitely felt that to some extent as I knew absolutely no one in Canberra. Actually, that’s a lie. I knew one person who I saw once, two people two people. I lie. I lie. I knew two people, but I wasn’t very close friends with those people. So, I had to sort of kindle those relationships and become closer with them, but yeah.
It was difficult not being near family or anything like that the entire time, that was, that was quite hard so, I can appreciate what it’s like guys moving away for substantial amounts of time and having to restart your life because at the time we thought we were going to be there for two years, but only ended up being there for about six months fortunately or unfortunately.
Just going to straighten this camera. Anyway, today I wanted to chat about confidence and building confidence when speaking English or when wanting to learn English because I had a lesson recently with one of my students and he had some difficulties at work so, I might tell you his story because I won’t mention his name, but he had been hired for a job and after a few months they had decided to let him go because they decided that they didn’t
have the money to have him on board at his experience level and not have someone with more experience to help train him up so effectively they needed someone with more experience and they only had enough money to hire one person.
So, they decided they had to let him go but in the process of letting him go they had made him do a few exercises and like presentations to try and test whether he was going to be good enough for that position. So, I was helping him prepare for one of the talks that he had to give in order to try and, I guess, show confidence when he’s speaking when he’s presenting in English and, hopefully, keep his job.
But he lost it, unfortunately, because they had already decided that they needed someone more experienced, with more experience. I guess the good thing was though that he has grown a lot through that experience and he had to obviously work through some very tough situations and practice his English and presenting skills.
But the funny thing is with with this guy he speaks really well. He speaks really well, but he lacks the confidence because of these things that he’s gone through so, his confidence has been a bit chipped away at, it’s been a bit reduced because of these experiences where he is working for a company in Australia obviously is mostly Australians. They all speak English fluently and he has the same demands put on him as they would put on a native speaker.
Despite being able to speak incredibly well, obviously, sometimes probably more often than than a native speaker he finds it hard to find the words or to express himself as clearly and it’s led to this sort of positive feedback loop of second-guessing himself, so hesitating a lot more than normal and he was saying to me when I had these lessons with with him I’m really frustrated because I know I can speak really well. I I feel like my English has gotten a lot worse recently, not because I can’t speak English, I can’t use the tenses like my grammar and my vocab hasn’t gotten worse, but I’m finding it harder to express myself and when we got to the root of the cause that was more related to his confidence than his actual speaking
abilities and I guess that was an interesting thing for me because, he was the first person I’ve sort of encountered where his English was fine, but his speaking had taken a hit. It had been reduced because of this issue with confidence.
And so, the last few lessons we had been working through how to build his confidence to improve his speaking where he already obviously has a solid foundation with regards to his speaking and that’s why I wanted to make this video today guys for you to talk a bit about what you can do if you find yourself in a similar situation where, well, you don’t even necessarily have to be in a similar situation if you’re working on your speaking and trying to improve your speaking as well. This advice will obviously help you too, but if you are in a similar situation where your speaking is already at a very good level, but you’re finding it’s still hard to express yourself because of being nervous anxious and feeling like you just don’t have enough confidence, hopefully some of these tips and tricks or this advice that I will give you will help.
So, I sat down with this guy in a Skype call the other day and we were working through ideas about how he could build his confidence around speaking and and we we worked out that the problem with with why he was so nervous was because he was always, every time he was speaking English, was in a situation where something was on the line. All right, meaning that where he was at work, and he was speaking with colleagues and he was worried about his job or he was worried about his work.
So, he was constantly nervous there or he was in class with me and he felt a little bit nervous there as well because he is trying to learn he’s trying not to make mistakes and I said to him are you going out and finding ways to speak English and to engage with other people where English doesn’t have so much weight on it where it’s not so important as to whether or not you’re correct when you speak or as to whether or not you communicate your ideas concisely and very quickly? And he said no, the only time I really speak is at work and in classes with you, and I said well, there you go, that is something that you need to do. It would be like me wanting to get better at Jiujitsu, the martial art that I used to do, but the only training I ever did was competing right so it would be like me always going to competitions and
expecting to try and improve, whilst also trying to compete and when you compete obviously you’re not in an environment where you can freely try new things, where you can take more risks, right? If you’re always practicing your English when you’re in a situation where you can’t take risks, you can’t be relaxed and you can’t try new things then you’re not going to improve and you’re going to become a lot more nervous, a lot more self-aware and have issues with your confidence.
So, what did I suggest to this guy that he could do firstly and and you know this is a pretty obvious one. Try and find something you’re interested in where you have to use your English and engage with other people. So this could be joining a sports club, doing some kind of recreational activity in groups, right? There are loads and loads of meetups that you can go to whether they’re related to English or not one example is that yesterday I went to Werribee zoo to do some photography with one of my friends Richard, who is a second…He speaks English as a second language, but he speaks like a native speaker, he’s been in Australia for five years now, and he spoke a long time before that, but before we went to Werribee zoo, he actually went on Facebook and found a walk around Melbourne to a photography group Meetup thing and spent two hours walking around, Melbourne, practicing his photography and it was free. There was no payment, it was mostly, I think mostly Australians, some foreigners as well, but he got to chill out with them and practice his photography which like his English well, his English is good, but his photography is very poor. He’s very much a beginner when it comes to his photography, right?
So, he was out there trying new things. There was no real… his photography wasn’t on the line so, he could just muck around practice take risks and feel at ease, obviously, you could do this same sort of thing, but with your English, so tip number one there, I would get online whether it’s on Google or on Facebook and look for some kind of group or Meetup related to a passion of yours. It doesn’t have to be English. Obviously, it can be English, it could be an English meetup group, but it could be related to photography. It could be related to sightseeing and travel it could be related to maybe you’re a mother or a father a new mother or a father and you could go to a meetup group for young parents, there are so many groups on there guys. Just find something you’re passionate about and try and do that once a week, you know, it could be an hour but once a week where you get to indulge in a passion of yours, but also practice English in a safe environment an environment where you don’t need to be perfect, you take risks and you can just do so in a relaxed manner, that is a great way to practice your speaking and to build your confidence, whether it’s in English alone, or it’s in another activity like photography.
Now, the other tip that I gave him was to check out public speaking groups. So, there’s one in Melbourne and I’m not sure this could be all over the place. It could be everywhere in Australia in the big cities, but there is a a group called Toastmasters, Toastmasters, I’m not sure if this is free or not. I have a feeling it is, but I could be wrong Toastmasters is a group that you can meet up with or you can go to that practices public speaking, so it can be for anyone whether you’re in business whether you’re a student at university, whether you’re learning English as a second language and usually the whole focus the whole point of these things is to just improve your public speaking, so it could be that you need to present at university and maybe they will critique you that will give you advice but it’s a safe environment because they as well are learning how to speak publicly, it could also just be practicing your English in general where you get up and introduce yourself and, you know, talk about yourself in front of them, but I think the basic idea here is that you will work on your public speaking which will definitely help you build confidence in English.
So, anyway, those were the main sort of points that I ended up saying to this guy, I was like you need to find time outside of work and outside of lessons with me where you can be speaking English and practicing your English and it’s not a risky moment, right? like the time that you’re spending doing. This isn’t going to make you nervous, isn’t going to make you anxious because it doesn’t matter if you get anything, right or wrong, the focus isn’t on how correct or efficient your English is, the focus is on just enjoying yourself and meeting other people.
Oh, I just I just remember the third one, the third one here, guys. Language meetup groups. I’m sure a lot of you will know about these in Melbourne in Sydney in Brisbane all the big cities around Australia and if you’re overseas, I am sure if you are in America or Canada there will be language meetup groups elsewhere in the big cities there to go to those guys, they tend to be free the ones that I went to in Melbourne when I was practicing my French and practicing my Portuguese were one called Lingos and another one called Mundo Lingo, okay? So, you should be able to find those or equivalents to those online if you go to Google or Facebook and type in language meetups, you’ll either find their website or their Facebook page and these are usually weekly or monthly meetups where foreigners and native speakers of English from that country as well can meet up to practice languages so, it’s not just English that they’ll be practicing. It’ll often be English speakers, they’re wanting to practice foreign languages as well. You know, whether it be Chinese or French or Portuguese. And so this is another relaxing, informal environment where you can meet many different people in the same boat as you learning languages their humble, they’re working on their confidence as well. So you you don’t need to be anxious you don’t need to be nervous and you can share your experiences, your worries, your concerns, all of that sort of stuff whilst also having fun and meeting new people, right?
So, language meetups are also an amazing place to just hang out meet new people, especially if you’re new to the area it’s a great place to meet native speakers and are foreigners as well and hopefully foreigners who don’t speak your native language and work on learning languages anyway, so I hope that’s helped guys at the moment.
I am off to Torquay I am about to catch up with two of my mates Dave and James. You’ve probably seen them in other episodes, we haven’t caught up in a week or two. So, we are going to go and get some healthy fish and chips there is a restaurant in Torquay called ‘Fishos’, called ‘Fishos’, just passing the airport here, you might see some of the planes out the window here a fish and chips place called Fishos and it is really gourmet. It’s very nice. They have fresh fish, that’s locally sourced. They have salads that you can pick to have with your fish. I think there were some sweet potato chips not just potato chips sweet potato. That’s healthy, huh?
Anyway, so I’m looking forward to that and I brought my camera gear so, I might go out and take a few sneaky shots before we get down and get down to business and start eating some food because I’m also quite hungry. It’s after lunch so, I hope that helps guys. I hope you’ve enjoyed this episode. Don’t forget to check out the Aussie English Podcast if you want to learn Australian English or English in general, that is theaussieenglishpodcast.com, if you’d like to support the podcast and Aussie English in general there’s a link down below for the Patreon page where you can sign up to donate as little as a dollar a month and if you would like to learn English in more depth, go over to theaussieenglishclassroom.com and that is where I upload a course every single week, I add to that constantly and there are videos and other materials in there that will help you Learn English, build your vocab and speak English confidently like a native speaker a lot faster.
So, get over there and try it, it is just a dollar guys to sign up. So, give it a go! I’m gonna stop rambling, keep driving and I’ll see you guys later. Thanks for joining me guys! See ya!
G’day, guys! How’s it going? Pete here, obviously.
Today, I have something new for you, something new for you. So, I chat to you guys a while ago via email and also to all the users of the Aussie English Classroom about what to do after episode 500 and I got mixed feedback. Some of you were sort of happy with the expression episodes and wanting to keep doing them the way they are, others of you wanted something different and you wanted things relating to IELTS and real-world situations and real conversations and break down of vocab and expressions that can be used in those kinds of situations. So, for the last few weeks, Kel and I have been getting together every now and then to record videos, as you’re about to find out, on different topics, right? So, we can discuss them, we can talk about different vocab that we would use in different situations, how to use different expressions. So, so far, we’ve done this episode. This is the very first episode on cultural differences where I sit down with Kel and we chat about the cultural differences between Brazil and Australia.
The other episode that we have done is on family where we talk about our families and we talk about how we can describe our families, the different members in our family, all that sort of stuff in English. So, this episode is going to be free. I’m going to put this up on YouTube, I’m going to put this up on the podcast, the whole thing will be up there for you, guys, to use. However, with the episodes after this there’s going to be two portions to it.
There’s going to be the initial discussion video and podcast episode that will just be me and Kel having a chat about whatever it is, whatever the topic is: family, culture, politics, ordering coffee, whatever those situations are, but then there’ll be a second part to each of those episodes where Kel and I continue the conversation and go through the different vocab and expressions that are used in the first video, ok? And discuss how to use that, what kind of situations, how not to use it all of that sort of stuff. We’re going to deep dive into all the vocab and expressions and hopefully give you tricks and tips specifically for IELTS, PTE and the Cambridge exams, right? And obviously it’s going to be applicable to English in general. You’ll be able to use everything that you learn in these episodes anywhere. But I wanted to be able to give you guys some more resources to help you prepare for IELTS and just to prepare for any of those situations where you’re going to be talking about more complex topics. So, this is the very first one, guys, I’m open to feedback. I would love to hear what you guys think. I would love to hear if you have any suggestions, if you have any topics that you would love us to cover as we’ve only done three episodes so far and we’re thinking about the future ones, but anyway that’s enough for the intro. I’ll let you see it. I’ll let you hear it and then afterwards will finish up and yeah, let’s do it, let’s just get into it, guys.
Pete: G’day, guys! Welcome to this episode of Aussie English and I’m going to be chatting about cultural differences so, I brought along my beautiful fiancee here. Thanks for coming along, Kel. And we were having a chat the other day about differences with regards to culture and I wanted to just have a natural conversation with you. Kel’s like have to organize this, we have to go through it. She’s very pragmatic, she’s very organised andI’m always like ahhh we’ll work it out!
Kel: It’s mainly because English is your first language and I had have other things they need to say so…
Pete: I always forget that, I need to remember, but you do well, but it’s good to have you on the spot where you have to sort of improvise and you’re not prepared.
Kel: Let’s see how it goes!
Pete: Alright so, the first thing we’re talking about so, we’re getting married in about a month and we’ll do some episodes of marriage and some other things related to that in the future but Kel and I were talking about how we need to refer to each other’s parents and that also got us onto talking about how we refer to our own parents in our different cultures and I thought it was an interesting conversation and I liked… I liked what we were talking about so, I thought we could do a video on it and so do you want to start with, I guess, your first experiences here with regard to maybe what you thought of how I referred to my parents and your thoughts when we got engaged?
Pete: You were like… what do I call your parents?
Kel: Because you… most of the times you called them by their names like yeah Jo or Ian.
Pete: Yeah. So, my parents names are Jo and Ian.
Kel: And for me that’s really weird. At first I thought you were joking, you know, he was teasing or something, but because we living now with them for a four a short period it happens everyday and I’m like… that’s really weird. So, I think we wanted to buy them something. I don’t remember what it was, but I was like okay so how do I call your parents? And he was.. Ian and Jo?
Pete: Yeah, use their first names, Kel.
Kel: I’m like… there’s no way I’ll call your mum Jo… she’s not my mate! She’s your mum! There’s no way I can do that, that’s so disrespectful! You can do it. She may is to you doing it, but I feel uncomfortable so, I decided to call them Mum and Dad. but that’s even worse because it’s just awkward, I’m not.. she’s not my mum either. That’s so confusing, but for me it’s like in Brazil you call like my dad sir, like senhor, and my mum madam, senhora.
Pete: Yeah So, you would use senhor/senhora which is effectively literally translated as sir and madam, which in Australia you would never call your parents sir and madam because that’s such a… That’s such a respectful sort of like I would call the King of England. I would call the King of England Your Highness if there were a king of England or Your Highness if it was a woman, but maybe for example the princes, Prince Harry and Prince Charles and the other son was that Prince William, them I would call, at least on my side was made aware of a different phrase that I need to use which may be your Highness I would call them, they’re the kind of people I would call sir as a baseline that is where I would begin with, okay, maybe I need to refer to these people as sir and so, if I were to you sir or madam with my parents as an Australian, and this would probably apply to all Australians, they would be very freaked out, they would be like what on earth?!
Pete: Because I think to an Australian culture it’s very… we don’t like big distances.
Kel: I get that.
Pete: Between, you know, the upper class and the lower class, between positions it’s always… the emphasis is on becoming close with people. So, even your boss at work you may have a really good relationship with him. He might just say you know call me my name, you never get to call him sir or madam and that would be very uncommon in Australia. Usually, it would be maybe Mr. Something, or Mrs. something, but even then that’s a bit too formal in Australia at least we would…. almost always when you’re in a position of power, you want to be… don’t look at me like that I’m a friend, I’m a friend, I’m a friend!
Pete: So, that was what happened with my parents where I said to Kel, in Australia, if you’re getting married to someone or you’re someone’s girlfriend, you’re someone’s partner, whatever it is you would most likely use that person’s first name unless they’re related to you, if they’re related to you may have a different thing, you know, like I might call my uncles and aunts, uncle Paul or auntie Ingrid, you know, but even then now I would probably just use their first names because we’re the same age. When I was a little kid I would call them Uncle Paul or auntie Ingrid, but it wasn’t that big a deal.
Pete: So, and that’s Australian, there may be slight differences in Britain. There may be a bit more, they’re a bit more class base here, but here in with my family they’re very… It’s I guess we’re all equal. We don’t see each other as like I’m the older one. You need to respect me, at least with my immediate family, my parents and my sister. So, what is it like him in Brazil?
Kel: I think for me, personally, it’s a funny one because my parents are not…. they’re fairly young, like my mum had me when she was 20 so, growing up I wouldn’t see her as this old woman at all and I wouldn’t refer to her as madam, but I would never call her by her first name. That’s not, you know, not ok?
Pete: What would her reaction have been if you had?
Kel: She would be like what are you doing? Are you crazy? and would slap me or something, it’s just not polite. But I understand what you mean. The same with my dad, like my parents got divorced and I wouldn’t spend as much time with him, but I would never call him by his first name. That’s not, that’s not okay. But I think because my parents are a bit young I feel weird calling them like sir and madam.
Pete: Because that gap in age isn’t so accentuated.
Kel: But always mom and dad and my grandmother definitely madam.
Kel: Yeah. There’s no… there’s no… and you have to like, can I have your hand? you have to like…
Pete: What? You have to kiss your grandmother’s hand? What is she? The Pope?
Kel: No! She’s my grandmother, that’s it! Every day! like when you go and see her, for example, and visit her you have to do that, if you don’t… I mean… if you are a little child, your parents have to deal with that.
Pete: You don’t know any better, you don’t know any better!
Kel: But I’m 30 so, If I get there and I don’t do it she’ll be like ” oh, you’re all different!’, you know what I mean? And I’m sure for a lot of people it’s the same, there might be families in Brazil where you call, you know, people call their parents by their first name. It may be changing, but.
Pete: It’s very uncommon.
Kel: It is very uncommon. Most people would say senhora or senhor.
Pete: That is so strange! For me that’s the kind of thing I remember talking to one of my students about this who is Brazilian and I was like that reminds me of the movie The Sound of Music where that, I think is an Australian guy or something, the captain or whatever his name is, and has all these children of different ages and they all refer to him as sir. And I remember watching that as a kid and just being like… that is so weird! Because it’s almost like… it’s almost like he’s their boss or he… it’s almost like he owns them. you know. like we just don’t have that kind of formality and I think to the weird thing is in Australian culture that I remember as one anecdote working in a restaurant and an elderly man came in and he would have been in his 60s maybe 70s and I called him sir and he got angry at me, and he was just like don’t call me that my name is Robert.
Pete: That was my… as a waiter, in Australian culture you might do it as a waiter or waitress if you… if the person is relatively old and you don’t want to call them Mr or Mrs, well you don’t know their namea so you probably call them sir or madam, if you do that sometimes they’ll be okay with it, but generally I think most people say don’t, don’t do that. I’m I’m just a normal person as well, don’t treat me like I’m up here, please. My name is Geoff, that makes me uncomfortable.
Kel: But it makes me uncomfortable. For example, with your parents, it’s so weird for me to listen to myself calling them Hi, Ian! It feels that I’m disrespecting them in a way or like just being too informal. I don’t know.
Pete: I think, I guess, that’s one piece of advice would be if you’re coming to Australia or any English-speaking country don’t just assume one way or the other. Talk to people, talk to the people you’re speaking with too, because I’m sure I’m sure you could have sat down with my parents when you first met them and you say I just… I’m a bit confused about how I need to refer to you to be politically correct or to be polite. What language do I need to use? And that is when they would probably say just just call me Jo, just call me Ian and that’s, you know, from then on you just call them Jo or just call them Ian.
Kel: Yeah, your mum sent us a postcard from Britain and she wrote something like, you know, PS: Mum and Dad Oh, Ian and Jo, whatever! It was just so funny because she knows I feel uncomfortable. But it’s the same, when I have to talk to them yeah like now I’m using your dad’s computer and I’m always like… ahh I don’t know how to ask, it’s just so… because we see, I think in Brazil we sell our parents like this really authoritarian, I don’t know, we just… they have the power and someone’s parents is even worse, if we were living with my parents I’m sure I would feel more… obviously I’ll call them sir and madam,.
Pete: And I would feel more like okay, I will call them sir and madam or whatever you suggest, cause i don’t know them.
Kel: But to ask for things I would be much more comfortable, but because they’re your parents. I just feel that.. you know, an extra level of power, it’s just the way we’re raised.
Pete: Funny thing with our relationship too I’m trying to push Kel constantly to talk to them herself because she comes up to me, she’s talking Portuguese so, that they don’t understand it and she’ll be like can you please ask them this thing? Can you ask them if I can use this? And I’ll be like just ask them, Kel, just go. Kelly wants to know if she can use this and you’ll be like noooo.
Kel: But one thing is because I feel weird calling them by their names and I feel silly calling them sir and madam, I never know how to start a conversation. It’s always like… hey you! I’m getting better…
Pete: My basic thing would be call them…. call them their names. And if you’re worried about it ask them how can I refer to you?
Kel: Yeah, yeah, they’re very, they’re very open and you know.
Pete: But the conservative side of Australia is sort of similar to Brazil, I think, because my grandparents, my mother’s parents, are very conservative and growing up I always had to call them nana and grandpa. That was it.
Pete: There was never sir or madam, but if I were to use their first name they would have probably punish me one way or another or seen it as offensive or that they need to teach me to be polite because that was how they were brought up in the 1930s and 40s was like, the conservative nature that you’re sort of talking about I think was how Australia, 80 plus years ago, but nowadays it’s getting more and more and more informal.
Kel: Maybe Brazil will change, I don’t know. either. But while I was living there, and I remember, as a child my friends would never talk to my parents as, you know, by their first name. It was just something that you wouldn’t do. And yeah, I don’t know, maybe it is changing, I have no idea, but being a child that was definitely more strict.
Pete: I think for us too, the smaller the child-like at school you would refer to your teachers as Mr. or Mrs. and then the name of the person. So, in Australia you would never say teacher! you know, unless you didn’t know their name, you might be able to.
Kel: We say that!
Pete: I know, the Portuguese say Professor which is a teacher.
Pete: But here you would say Mr. or Mrs. And then like name, Mr. Black, Mrs. White, whatever. And so, sometimes if you met friends parents you might refer to them as, for instance, my best friend as a kid, Luke Parncutt, I would call his dad Mr. Parncutt or his mum Mrs. Parncutt when I was a kid, when I was very small, but again I think as the relationship develop they get to a point where they don’t like being called that because it makes them feel uncomfortable.
Kel: They feel old or something.
Pete: So, they just say just call me my first name.
Pete: And another example was we were in the street the other day and I I bumped into my primary school teacher from when I was in Grade five and Grade 6, so I would have been 11 years old 12 years old and I was like Kel, you’ve gotta meet Mrs. Curew? and I yelled out Mrs. Curew, Mrs. Curew, ? , which was her name when I was at primary school and I … to be honest, I never even actually knew her first name.
Pete: And she turned around and she was just like Oh Peter! I’ve seen her through the years and she’s like you know my name is Lou! Call me Lou! don’t call me Mrs. Curew no one calls me that because she hasn’t been a primary school teacher for 20 years.
Kel: And she looks really modern and, you know, she doesn’t look like someone who would call like madam or miss I guess it reminds people of their age, I don’t know.
Pete: But that’s an example too I came across my teacher who when I was in primary school I would have called Mrs. and Mr. because that’s you know teaching students respect, but then as soon as you leave school and you come into contact with those people again quite often they’re like just me my first name because they feel uncomfortable and I think I’d be the same, anytime I’ve had students, teaching English, quite often they like they call me sir or mister or teacher and I’m just like just call me Peter, I’m your teacher but I’m also I want to be your friend, I don’t want to be… I don’t want you to consider me here and you’re this lowly person who’s below me you, where on an equal playing field as people, we’re both people, but I want to be obviously I’m the one that’s helping you.
Pete: So, that was it with regards to names of people. What was the other cultural thing we wanted to talk about?
Kel: Politeness, I guess?
Pete: Politness? In asking questions and speaking with people?
Kel: Yeah. So, I think we were saying that Brazilians are much more direct. So, in Portuguese you can say… if you are having dinner with people just like… me dá o sal! Like Pass me the salt.
Pete: Give me the salt. Which is very direct in English.
Kel: Which is not rude! Obviously, it depends on the people you are with, but in general I would say, it doesn’t sound rude if you say me passa o sal, give me the salt. But in English, I’ve done it and I’ve seen people doing it and it’s always like you go to a coffee shop or something like give me a coffee! Wow! that’s not okay! Just very strong, I guess.
Pete: That was interesting when you’re talking about that because I guess it’s probably better from my standpoint going into Portuguese because I’m going to formulate my sentences in probably overly polite phrases, you’re going to probably think are weird, but you’re not going to be offended by. Whereas if you speak directly translate into English you have the chance of offending people with abruptness.
Kel: You know, I was telling you that my teacher in Townsville he asked me Do you prefer being called Sonia or Raquel? I have, you know, two names. And my English at the time was very limited, and I just said whatever, but in my my what I wanted to say was either one, I don’t mind, but I just said whatever.
Pete: Because that was the vocabulary you had.
Kel: Because in Portuguese I’d say tanto faz and it wouldn’t…
Pete: Which means whatever.
Kel: Which mean whatever but it wouldn’t sound rude or anything and, you know, a few months later when I finally could express myself better he was like there was rude, I know you didn’t mean to be rude, but yeah…
Pete: Explaining that one though, whatever can be used when someone asks you a question and you don’t care about the answer or you don’t care about …like Pete, do you want to go to the beach or do you want to go to the mountains? If I were to say ah whatever that’s like, wow you don’t care, you’re not interested and you’re trying to like finish the conversation and get out and be like… whatever, I don’t care, whatever. And so I mean that the good thing is if you make those kinds of mistakes as a non-native speaker, people quite often aren’t going to assume you’re being rude, they’ll assume ah ok, they don’t mean that, but that’s what, you know, that’s the message they’re trying to convey, but that’s not what they… they’re not doing in a rude way. But some of the interesting things you pointed out were those short phrases when asking for something. So, for instance give me the salt, I mean that’s not necessarily a question, but it’s a short phrase in English we… politeness, because we don’t really have like tenses that you can change or pronouns, like a polite version of you or anything like that and using sir and madam is kind of out of the question, we tend to add words to sentences and use longer sentences.
Kel: And that’s what I learned, if you want to be polite in English, make your sentences long. So, can I please have…and that a joke in school, like we would say this is so pointless! Why do I have to spend five seconds just asking for their freaking salt! But it makes sense to understand the culture you like I can’t be so direct.
Pete: And we don’t we don’t have polite tenses which show that politeness in other ways. So, we have to add other words to the sentences so, a few really good ones would be can I. And then, you know, use an inversion for the question. Can I please have? Using please in all these sentences, can I please have this? or I would like to have this, please? If it’s a question or a statement just use please, would like, can I. And then there were some other ones like Do you mind if I…?
Pete: Even though that sounds so long, do you mind if I have a coffee? Do you mind if I get a biscuit? Do you mind if I buy a sandwich? Do you mind if I…? Is like a way of saying does it bother you if I do this thing? So it’s kind of this polite way and saying I will do this thing, you know, or can I do this thing.
Kel: And I’ve seen people say oh like just Brazilians are rude or like people judging other cultures, just saying oh those people are rude, but I really think it’s much more… has much to do with cultural differences, like Chinese people for example they tend to be quite direct as well. So, as I foreigner, I see as you just have to adapt to your own like behavior and language and when you come to live in Australia, for example, you need to know that, you know, people don’t talk like that and if you want to sound polite… people, if you don’t, people English isn’t my your language, but you know, I always wanted to be…. to blend in and to be, you know, like a native I would say, so.
Pete: And people appreciate that effort because I can tell the difference between someone who’s made the effort to get to a higher level and someone who’s just using basic English to get by. And again, it’s not that I don’t…. It’s not that I’m prejudiced towards one or the other, but I can tell that if you’re using slang words, if you’re using that kind of language do you mind if I get? Can I have this please? I can tell, ok, this person really takes English seriously and is trying to become a part of the culture a bit more. The same with if I was going to Brazil I could get by on what I know, but I would be trying to dive deeper and get a better sense of it and try and blend in and try and fit in try and move more native.
Kel: It’s funny because…it’s weird, Brazilians tend to be more direct and more physical and closer to people, but as I was telling you the other day like we struggle to say no to things and to people like… if I’m visiting you and your parents cooked something that I don’t like.
Pete: Yeah, this is a really funny conversation when we did this.
Kel: I would never say oh no, thank you, I don’t like that, or like I’m not hungry. I would have to eat because that’s politeness for us. If you have an allergy, obviously, you’re not going to put yourself in danger, but most of the times, you just don’t say no because if it sounds rude.
Pete: Your example was like if I came to your house and your dad was cooking dinner, he wouldn’t necessarily check with me what I need, what I want or anything about me, he does what he does and it’s my job as that guest to conform and to be like okay all this food is amazing, I’m not going to be like well I don’t eat that, this is gross. No, I’m not going to have that. It’s my job to be the one thanking the other person and it was funny because Kel was like yeah, that makes sense, doesn’t it?
Pete: And I’m like yeah, yeah, but in Australia it would probably be the complete opposite where the host takes it upon themselves to feel like they’re a bad host, unless they’re saying to you what don’t you eat? What would you like? What don’t you like? Like you’re coming to my house, you’re my guess. I need to take care of you. What can I do to make your experience here better? So, I said you know if we go to my grandmother’s for Christmas or something, Nana would say something like what does Kel eat? Does she not eat anything? This is what we’re going to have, is she going to be okay with that? She’s going to be incredibly worried about you having a good time. And it’s funny because both make kind of sense.
Pete: When you look at each one of them, but that’s a cultural difference too. So, don’t be afraid, if you’re coming to Australia and you’re allergic to something or you don’t like something, you know, to at least feel like you could have that conversation with someone if they’re cooking dinner for you, you know. Obviously you’re deathly allergic to things like oysters or something, say something, but don’t feel like you have to eat everything on your plate and that that’s going to be rude.
Kel: And I see that with your mum, like usually when she goes shopping and she’s always like… she knows that like a certain type of biscuits. I would never say I wanted a specific type of biscuit, but she always asks me Would you like the biscuit? I’m like yeah. It’s not that I wouldn’t eat the ones she likes, but she wants to make sure I have something that I really like, whereas for me, my grandmother for example she would buy whatever she wanted and you would have to feel that that’s it. I would try to find something I like just you know between the things she got, not the opposite.
Pete: Maybe that’s related too that distance, though, with regards to like she’s up here you’re here and you need to fit in with her, whereas for us it’s more we always want to make the little guy, the guy below us feel comfortable. As opposed to making ourselves out to be more important or putting emphasis on that sort of difference in importance.
Kel: I’m sure people have different experiences, but like my family and my friends’ families that’s what I would, you know, be used to as a child. I don’t know if it’s changing, but hopefully because it’s quite stressful to be like I don’t eat this thing, but I have to… I remember visiting my aunt once, like Brazilians will know Jucara or Acai, you know Acai?
Pete: These are different sort of, what would you call it? Acai is like… it’s it’s kind of a grain or something.
Kel: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kel: So, it’s very, very popular in Brazil, especially in the North. And my aunt made this huge like, you know, shake with it. I hate it. I can’t stand, I can’t even stand the smell of it. I drank the whole thing because I would never say no, thank you.
Pete: Kel is way too familiar with me, though, because I make things all the time and she’s like: I don’t eat that!
Kel: But it’s funny, I was telling you this yesterday, like I’m quite picky with food I would say.
Pete: You are.
Kel: I have…absolutely…. I can’t stand cooked food, like even meat.
Pete: Not necessarily uncooked, but undercooked and in not…so she’ll have a steak that is well done and I’ll have one that’s you know well, medium rare to well done, medium done.
Pete: And Pete would make this like massive stir fry with vegetables and chicken and I would be thinking of what if the chickens not fully cooked? I wouldn’t say anything because I was, you know, embarrassed and we had just met what I was like.
Pete: Please, don’t get food poisoning!
Kel: When I started cooking you saw like I get the fat out of the chicken.
Pete: She cooks the crap out of the food. KEL, this is charcoal. This isn’t meat, Kel!
Kel: That’s how you make sure it’s ok.
Pete: Anything else you think about cultural differences wise? Things that you should be aware of?
Kel: Just because I’ve seen so many Brazilians friends doing that again and it kind of becomes a joke, when you go out with Brazilians that they will rude or anything, but just make sure you know, like don’t be so direct with people, especially in restaurants and always say, and that’s another thing, like please and thank you are two very important things.
Pete: You can’t overuse them, you can’t use them too much. Use please and thank you as much as possible. And if someone else feels like you’re doing it too often, they’ll say look you don’t have to say please, it’s ok.
Kel: It’s funny, I remembered one thing. It got me to a point where I was so worried about being polite because I didn’t know, what if I’m extremely rude with people? That I was saying thank you very much indeed to some people, and someone just came to me and said just say ta!
Pete: Ta is another way of saying thank you informally in Australian English
Pete: Yeah, yeah.
Kel: That’s a bit too much, but now I’m much better.
Pete: I think yeah so, those are the biggest things that if you come to Australia and you’re worried about it, first and foremost, don’t let it get in your head, don’t get stuck in your head and not use your English because you’re afraid of being rude. Worst case scenario what you’ve said is rude if a native speaker says it, but you’re not a native speaker, right? And so, the persons is…. usually, if they’re, you know, intelligent at all and compassionate and empathetic they’re gonna understand you didn’t mean that, they’re going to give you the benefit of the doubt.
Pete: And if you if in doubt, just ask, ask what is it? What’s the appropriate thing to say in this thing? I want to say thank you, but is this too much? Is this not polite enough? What can I do? If you meet someone and you’re not sure about how to address them say Can I call you Mr or Mrs? Can I use your first name? Do I use your second name or call you sir? Just ask people and that good thing is that you have to use your English. You have to be communicating with people. So, if in doubt, communicate. If in doubt, communicate.
Kel: That’s it.
Pete: Awesome. We have a guest here. This is Max. So, yeah, guys! Thanks for watching the video. See you next time!
Alright, guys! Thank you for sticking with me. I really hope you enjoy this episode. I hope you enjoy the fact that I get to chat to Kel, she’s a little nervous about talking on camera especially in English because it’s her second language, but I think it’s perfect to be honest. Obviously, I’m a native speaker. She’s not a native speaker, but what she brings to the table, what she brings with regards to experience to this event, to this situation is that she’s learned English as a foreign language, she’s gone through the IELTS exam, at least twice now and I think she scored on the most recent one an average of seven, seven and a half, or eight. I can’t remember exactly but it was around that. And yeah, I’m not too worried about her being perfect. She’s constantly like oh my God I’m going to make mistakes. That’s the whole point, right? The whole point is that she is there as an English learner to have a chat with me and bring all of that kind of stuff to the table. Her experience, her knowledge as an English learner. So, I hope you enjoy this episode. As I said at the start, I would love to hear what you think. I would love to hear if you have any positive or negative criticisms so, please leave it in a comment. Send me an e-mail. Send me a message on Facebook, however you want to get in contact with me if you have some feedback. And if not, I guess I’ll see you next week. And I guess I should mention I still want to keep doing the expression episodes!
I’m just not sure on if I’ll be able to do one of each of these each week or if I’ll have to go back and forth between the two. So, we’ll just see how much time I have. I’ll do my best, but again your feedback is really welcome. Let me know what you think. I’m always here trying to improve and to better help you, guys, get from intermediate and advanced English beyond, right? So, anyway thanks for joining me, guys, I’ll chat to you soon! Bye!